tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78691861406540780002024-03-13T14:41:17.421-07:00The Great Jesus Experiment--We must, so to speak, dare again the experiment with God--so as to allow him to work within our society.--
POPE BENEDICT XVISarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.comBlogger108125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-45938247542666942112021-12-09T06:52:00.000-08:002021-12-09T06:52:11.487-08:00Returning from a three-year blogging hiatus after rerouting.<p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgc-5k88iOKk5CjN9ACMtE93QyvFxdxUVCFdJPSeUnWeF7buiFrbOLCst7dynW8y_mwSWC2If-EtO05UBknj-SBmAY1wBnflodRk5lwppgsmJRO_WU11WJf_aAvMtdWrokTtH-JfSUyHb4Gfuc1L2meSHB3zMxoOM2EimCyJCM17KVlxbBkcO6gxQ=s972" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="972" data-original-width="726" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgc-5k88iOKk5CjN9ACMtE93QyvFxdxUVCFdJPSeUnWeF7buiFrbOLCst7dynW8y_mwSWC2If-EtO05UBknj-SBmAY1wBnflodRk5lwppgsmJRO_WU11WJf_aAvMtdWrokTtH-JfSUyHb4Gfuc1L2meSHB3zMxoOM2EimCyJCM17KVlxbBkcO6gxQ=s320" width="239" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rerouting!</td></tr></tbody></table><br />Previously when I wrote in this blog, I felt certain that I was called to the religious life and that I would enter a convent soon. After visiting several communities, I settled on one in Ohio and began repeatedly visiting. This was a community with both men and women, each living in different dormitories on the property. They spent more than half of the day gathered together in the chapel for prayer, a good amount of time gathered together for meals--often eating in silence or listening to spiritual readings, and a small amount of time each day completing chores. Twice per week, they would visit residents at local nursing homes. This was their main ministry.</p><p>They lived in a remote location and I felt very peaceful there. Sister Teresa was the community's superior at the time that I started visiting, although a new superior was selected by vote every two years. Sister Teresa was one of the founding members and had spent about ten years in the community by herself until other men and women decided to enter. When I first visited, there were four men and two women in the community.</p><p>I remember feeling really comfortable with the community members even during my first visit. Their prayer routine was so similar to mine that I was able to make the transition from my regular life into the convent life almost seamlessly. During one visit, one of the Sisters burnt her finger and the other Sister brought her to Urgent Care. I was the only woman but was able to lead the Sisters' section of the prayers on my own. Being there seemed natural. At the same time, I was anxious about the idea of entering the convent, worrying about my family, and wanting to make the right decision. I didn't feel the excited joy that some Sisters described feeling after deciding to enter. However, Sister Teresa said that peace was the most reliable indicator of making the right decision. She said that feelings of joy would come after. I believed her then and I still do. I remembered choosing a college and feeling at peace with the decision even though I was very nervous. Soon after entering college, I felt excitement and joy. I prayed with my spiritual director and decided that God must have called me to enter this community.</p><p>On my next visit, I talked with the superior about submitting an application to become a postulant in the community. She agreed that I seemed to be called to the community and they were willing to expedite my application. I felt nervous but at peace. However, things aren't always so simple. God has other ways to communicate His plans.</p><p>I had been helping some family members to work through some situations and I had thought that the situations were resolved, freeing me to enter the convent at any time. But it turned out that I had miscalculated and that the situation would probably not be resolved for at least another year. I promptly informed the superior that I would not be able to apply for at least another year but that I was still interested and would like to keep visiting. She was very accommodating.</p><p>Over the next few months, I started to wonder if God was not just testing my resolve. I began to think that He was actually rerouting me. I informed the superior that I wanted to visit a different community with a more active ministry to see if God was calling me in a different direction and that I would get back to her. Again, she was very accommodating.</p><p>And so I visited another fabulous community where each Sister had a full-time job in order to support their collective financial needs. Again, I felt comfortable with the Sisters from day one and was able to more-or-less seamlessly transition into their way of life. My first visit was lovely and they wanted me to come back soon. They tentatively planned that, if I were to enter, I could teach science at the Catholic high school. They invited me back a few months later to the clothing ceremony of their postulant who was becoming a novice. I was extremely excited to attend.</p><p>This community was in New Hampshire so I was flying into Logan Airport and then taking a bus to meet one of the Sisters. I ended up having to call her because my flight was delayed and I missed the bus and would be an hour late. I decided to spend the extra hour in prayer.</p><p>I had recently begun to believe that I would enter this community instead of the one in Ohio. I spent a lot of time imagining how I would teach my high school classes, standing in front of the class in my religious habit, and starting things off with a prayer. I started to feel excited about the unique spirituality of the community, which was more charismatic than any of the other groups I had visited.</p><p>In prayer, I brought this to God, asking if this community was the right place for me. To my shock and amazement, I suddenly felt to the core of my being that God was saying that I was not called to enter this community. In fact, I just knew that I was not called to the religious life at all. This is what St. Ignatius called the first mode of discernment. In this case, the individual simply knows what to do without any doubt and the realization comes quickly, almost like being struck by lightning, and that certainty never leaves them.</p><p>All at once, I was relieved, disappointed, and miffed. I was relieved that after spending three years visiting religious communities I finally felt certain of what to do about it--i.e., not enter the convent. However, I was disappointed because I had genuinely felt at peace in the lifestyle and didn't want to walk away from that. To some degree, I felt like I was starting all over again. I knew what not to do with my life. But I wasn't sure what I should do. Also, I felt like God's timing was pretty darn inconvenient. In two hours, Sister would be picking me up for a weekend visit. What was I supposed to tell them? How awkward!</p><p>Three years later, looking back on the situation, I think the answer was obvious. I simply should have told them what happened while I was praying at the airport. But at the time, I think I was self-conscious and a little embarrassed, feeling like I had gotten everything completely wrong by thinking that I was called to the convent. Because of that, I chickened out and told the Sisters that I still wasn't sure and needed to take some time off to pray.</p><p>I ended up having a very lovely visit, just like all of my other visits. It was such a blessing to be there for the clothing ceremony which was just as beautiful as a wedding and something that most people will never have the chance to attend. The Sister receiving her habit was so radiantly happy and, as I prayed for her, I hoped that I would experience that myself someday.</p><p>In the months following my last visit to the convents, I was able to integrate those three years with the rest of my life so far. Looking back, I believe that God was calling me to the convent for a period of discernment rather than for my whole life. I was not wrong in my discernment, but had over-interpreted and presumed that I would enter permanently. Nonetheless, the experiences I had with the Sisters were crucial to my spiritual growth and development and, even now, I often remember their examples, advice, and encouragement. Even in the midst of the chaos of secular life, I still try to live with a sense of monasticism and peace.</p><p>Since that day at Logan Airport, I have never lost the certainty that I am not meant to enter the convent. That said, I would often think back to the community in Ohio, the one that I had almost entered, and daydream about what it would be like and wonder how the members were doing. I felt like it would still be ok if I never found the right path for myself. I could always make visits to the community and help to support their calling. It was like a spiritual backup plan to console me when I felt afraid that I would never find my purpose. However, this would not continue for long.</p><p>About one year after the airport, I met and had a conversation with someone who had been a postulant at a monastery in Ohio--small world! I told him that I had been discerning with a community in Ohio and he said that he used to make retreats at their facility and is friends with the members--even smaller world! Then he shared some shocking and sad news. In the two years since my last visit, two of the members of the already small community had discerned that they were not called to permanent vows and went back to the secular life. This heavy blow, combined with growing financial struggles, caused the remaining members to make the heartbreaking decision to shut down. The members who had already made final vows had since relocated to other communities.</p><p>Now I not only felt certain that I am not called to the religious life but felt extremely grateful that God, having seen in advance that the community would not make it, had spared me the experience of leaving everything to join a community only to have it shut down one year later. This is one of the known risks of joining a small community but, nevertheless, I was happy not to have to be there for it.</p><p>I learned this news during one of my last conversations with this acquaintance and marveled at the fact that, in God's plan, we had crossed paths primarily so that I would have that information. I received this as a message from God that I ought to move on from thoughts of the religious life. Although that period is a beautiful part of my past, it is not my future. This also instilled in me a greater sense of urgency. If God was telling me to look forward, perhaps there was another path ready to explore.</p>Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-66432922923722904042019-05-07T13:53:00.000-07:002019-05-07T14:26:49.378-07:00Failure is an option and joy is worth fighting for.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Below is the transcript of the commencement speech that I gave last year at my cousin's high school graduation ceremony.<br />
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Hello everyone! Of course the first thing I want to say is Congratulations to all of the graduates, all of your hard work has paid off! I'm so excited to be here with you and remember the days that I was here at PHS. Thank you, Class of 2018, for inviting me to come and talk with you, it's a really humbling experience. I wish I could tell you exactly what to do to have the perfect life, but I haven't quite figured that out yet. But, for the next 17ish minutes, I can share some of the things that I do know.</div>
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After I agreed to come and talk to you all I started thinking, wait a minute! What useful things do I have to say? So I started asking people for advice. My mom suggested that I watch Arnold Schwarzenegger's commencement speech on YouTube and just memorize that and recite it here tonight. Not terrible advice. Probably not legal but, it was a pretty good speech. Overall though, I thought it would be too awkward to tell you about all of the hours that I spent in the gym preparing for the Mister Universe competition. But I do like what the Terminator did in sharing some tips he learned during his journey. When it comes to achieving goals in life, I can't make that happen for you, but I can share some of the things that I've learned. And I encourage you to seek out this kind of advice from lots of people, not just me and Arnold… especially if you see someone who has been successful in doing the same type of thing that you want to do. Don't be shy, most people are surprisingly approachable when you're interested in something they know a lot about.</div>
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I work at NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center in Maryland where I'm a research scientist in the Heliophysics Division. Has anyone heard the word Heliophysics before? One? That's pretty good. I had never heard that word until I started working at NASA. Where I worked before we called it Space Physics. But basically it's the study of the Sun's effects on the Earth and the Sun's effects everywhere else in the solar system.</div>
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And I remember that NASA hadn't really been on my radar growing up. The first time I remember really noticing NASA was during my last year of high school, around the time when you all were born. In fact, I was visiting my naked baby cousin in the hospital on the day he was born. And don't judge!--you were all naked babies on the day you were born. I was in a waiting room with my family watching news coverage of the Mars Climate Orbiter (super exciting stuff). And they were talking about how there had been a miscalculation and the orbiter had gotten too close to Mars and burned up in the atmosphere. And my grandmother, whom some of you knew, had a little bit of a strange sense of humor and, in fairness to her, it was one of those situations where either you laugh or you cry because the satellite had been destroyed, but she started laughing uncontrollably for like, several minutes, which, of course, basically burned this event into my memory. I'll never forget that NASA failure. And NASA actually has an extremely high success rate. But sometimes the most inspiring stories are actually stories about successful failures. I think one of the most important lessons I've learned in my career is to learn from failures so that even those experiences which could be discouraging end up being stepping stones to future successes.</div>
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One of the most successful failures was NASA's Apollo 13 mission. Has anyone seen that movie? If not, you should watch it because the Apollo 13 mission was one of the most amazing moments in American history and I'm so glad they made a movie about it, long before any of you were born, so that we could all be inspired by it. The Apollo program is the program that sent Neil Armstrong to the moon. That was Apollo 11. Apollo 13 was a later mission that would also put astronauts onto the moon, except that it never made it there. An oxygen tank exploded two days after launch and put the astronauts in a crisis situation which could have killed them. It's called NASA's most successful failure because it took heroic efforts and a lot of good fortune to get the astronauts back safely. Jim Lovell, who was the commander of Apollo 13, called the mission "a great success in the ability of people to take an almost certain catastrophe and turn it into a successful recovery." It is such an awesome and inspiring movie, I highly recommend it.</div>
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My brother also gave me some advice. He thought I should spend 4 of my 17 minutes playing the Chewbacca Mom video--has anybody seen that? Well, for the few of you who haven't, it's this lady trying on a Chewbacca mask that was her birthday present to herself and she spends basically a full two minutes scream laughing and saying things like "I'm such a happy Chewbacca!" Now, I'm not going to play that clip for you, you've probably already seen it--it's in the Guinness Book of World Records in 2016 for more than 159 million views--and you can look it up later if you want to. But I really like that theme: I'm such a happy Chewbacca. Because isn't that what we all want? I can stand here and tell you all of the things that you need to do if you want to get a job at NASA some day and maybe that would be useful for some of you. But I'm sure that you're not all planning on ending up at NASA, nor should you. We all have different gifts and talents. But one thing that we all have in common is that we want to live a happy fulfilled life.</div>
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Candace Payne, the woman from the Chewbacca mom video, has a book out now called Defiant Joy*, which I'm not plugging because I haven't even read it, but I really like that term, defiant joy. Because joy isn't something that just happens to us if we have the right job and the right family and everything is working out well for us. I'm sure you've seen the news lately about famous people who have taken their lives. They seem like they're living a dream life but they're not happy. Happiness is something internal and not necessarily dependent on external circumstances. Some people seem to have everything they could need to be happy but they still don't feel happy. And there are a small number of people who are still happy even in the most horrible circumstances. That doesn't mean they don't want their situation to improve. It just means that they are able to maintain that interior happiness even when everything is a mess around them. And that's good news for us! It means that no matter what is going on in my life, no matter how difficult my situation is, it is possible to achieve happiness right now. It doesn't have to be something that's always on the horizon, that's always about to happen but never actually does.</div>
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Etty Hillesum was a young Jewish woman living in the Netherlands during WWII. She was eventually imprisoned and died in 1943 at Auschwitz concentration camp. During this time of intense persecution she kept a journal where she talks about interior peace and happiness and how it can be maintained even under the worst circumstances, but that it needs to be fought for. I'd like to read you a passage from her journal. She wrote:</div>
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<i>This morning I cycled along the Station Quay enjoying the broad sweep of the sky at the edge of the city, breathing in the fresh, unrationed air. And everywhere signs barring Jews from the paths and the open country. But above the one narrow path still left to us stretches the sky, intact.</i></div>
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<i>They can’t do anything to us, they really can’t. They can harass us, they can rob us of our material goods, of our freedom of movement, but we ourselves forfeit our greatest assets by our misguided compliance. By our feelings of being persecuted, humiliated, oppressed. By our own hatred. By our swagger, which hides our fear.</i></div>
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<i>We may of course be sad and depressed by what has been done to us; that is only human and understandable. However, our greatest injury is one we inflict upon ourselves.</i></div>
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<i>I find life beautiful, and I feel free. The sky within me is as wide as the one stretching above my head. I believe in God and I believe in man, and I say so without embarrassment.</i></div>
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<i>Life is hard, but that is no bad thing. If one starts by taking one’s own importance seriously, the rest follows.</i></div>
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<i>It is not morbid individualism to work on oneself. True peace will come only when every individual finds peace within himself; when we have all vanquished and transformed our hatred for our fellow human beings of whatever race—even into love one day, although perhaps that is asking too much.</i></div>
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<i>It is, however, the only solution. I am a happy person and I hold life dear indeed, in this year of Our Lord 1942, the umpteenth year of the war.</i></div>
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Please remember: "It is not morbid individualism to work on oneself."</div>
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There's a really funny blog called Hyperbole and a Half by a woman named Allie Brosh who is pretty open about her struggles with depression. She says that personally she has never thought about ending her life but lots of times she feels like she doesn't want to live anymore. And she talks about when she first started sharing that with her family and friends. One of the things that really surprised her is that rather than her being comforted by them, she ended up being the one doing the comforting. Because they basically started freaking out. And I think this is because, unfortunately, people tend to think of mental and emotional health as either "I guess I'm ok" or "oh my gosh! something is horribly horribly wrong!!" without much in between. And this is the wrong attitude.</div>
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I was having some stomach pains recently whenever I ate and so I went to the doctor and she figured out that I needed to start taking a supplement that would help me digest my food properly. Since then, I haven't felt perfect but the situation has gotten a lot better. And nobody freaked out about it. In fact, my family and friends all agreed that it was obvious that I should go to a doctor and see about getting myself treated so that I could feel better. Thankfully, people are starting to develop this attitude toward mental and emotional health. If your car isn't running smoothly then you bring it to the mechanic. If you break your arm then you go to the hospital. My advice to you is that if you think something might not be right with your mental and emotional health, in that case too, you go to someone who could help fix it. Sometimes this means going to a professional, like a therapist, other times you might be helped by talking with an older adult that you know and trust. And don't feel like once you've confided in one person then you're stuck with them. Several of my coworkers regularly meet with a therapist and some of them have met with several different people before settling on someone they felt really comfortable with.</div>
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So if it seems like something isn't quite right with your interior state, see about getting helped with that and don't worry about what other people say or think. It's just the smart thing to do. And this is part of defiant joy, right? We need to be a little bit stubborn here and refuse to settle for "ok". We don't want to just be getting by in life. We want to have joy in our life. And it's something worth fighting for.</div>
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When it comes to caring for our physical health, it doesn't stop at fixing whatever is wrong with my body. To have the best physical health, I need to eat well and exercise and make it a priority to actually increase my overall level of health. And I would say that, just like we more-or-less know how to eat well and exercise, we all know a lot of things that we can and should do to foster emotional health. Just like with exercise, I need to come up with a routine that works for me, I need to be consistent with it, and sometimes I need to mix things up a little bit so that my routine is still effective. I can't come up with a routine for you but I'm hoping to get you thinking about it--what am I going to do to promote my emotional happiness and fight for joy in my life?</div>
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We know some of the things that destroy peace and joy in our lives and we need less of those. Sometimes we have to withdraw a little bit from friends who create drama for us and situations that are continually stressing us out. We also need to avoid substances and behaviors that cause unhealthy stress to our bodies. We also know a lot of things that we can do to promote emotional wellbeing.</div>
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Some of the things that we can do are actually so well known that they have become cliche. For example, it really does help to have an attitude of gratitude. But it's something that needs to be practiced regularly. Studies in Japan show that simply having someone sit in an empty room each day and list things that they are genuinely thankful for, one after another, as many as they can think of for 15 minutes or so, dramatically increases the person's joy and peace. This has become an extremely successful type of therapy in Japan and even here in the West some people are keeping gratitude journals.</div>
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Journaling in general is well known to help people emotionally. There is something about putting our feelings down on paper that can be even more powerful than talking about them.</div>
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Mindfulness meditation is another thing that is growing in popularity. Sometimes we get so busy, we're rushing around all the time and we don't notice beauty around us. Or we're eating our favorite kind of food but we don't even notice what it tastes like because we're scarfing it down in order to move on to the next thing we have to do. Just taking a regular period of time each day to slow WAY down and notice little details, especially going out in nature and really looking at what is around me and noticing the smells and the sounds--this is another way to increase peace and joy.</div>
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I even read an article recently that said that cuteness affects our brain in a way that not only makes us happier in the moment but can have a lasting effect. The article says "cuteness may be one of the strongest forces that shapes our behavior – potentially making us more compassionate." Studies have shown that when we see something cute, it causes fast brain activity in regions that are linked to emotion and pleasure. So literally, watching a couple of baby animal videos in the middle of a stressful day can improve our emotional state. And of course there are tons of other things you can do to bring joy and peace into your life and I'm sure you can find things that work for you, but remember, we have to make it a priority and we have to be consistent.</div>
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All of this boils down to a process of feeding our hope and feeding our joy. The darker the world seems around us, the more effort we have to put in to feeding our joy. And it's worth fighting for.</div>
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So I want to leave you with these two messages. Number 1: Don't be afraid of failure. See it as an opportunity to learn and as a stepping stone to future success. Number 2: Take your emotional health seriously. Strive for happiness now and don't settle for anything less. In short, be a happy Chewbacca. So good luck with the next step of your amazing journey and thank you again for having me here.<br />
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*Note that Defiant Joy by Candace Payne is an interactive Bible study program rather than a book.</div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-4238178734499167612017-03-04T16:17:00.001-08:002017-03-05T06:58:14.525-08:007QT: Waterfalls, monasticism and coffee with Jesus.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<i>Now here's an eclectic mix of quick takes!</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj74j0iFkpv-dEl-682fJSROcQBucIHJPGhy5novxsZb6Ky-_8kd_0UztppN6EQIyq_noVZsE4Xqjcven-a_WqmSyGdCTH47i2wPExnU_T61GMh6TTSEnN-hWXKIyUmrtlsafJ3yuxJ0g/s1600/Great+Falls.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj74j0iFkpv-dEl-682fJSROcQBucIHJPGhy5novxsZb6Ky-_8kd_0UztppN6EQIyq_noVZsE4Xqjcven-a_WqmSyGdCTH47i2wPExnU_T61GMh6TTSEnN-hWXKIyUmrtlsafJ3yuxJ0g/s320/Great+Falls.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Last weekend mom and I went to Great Falls (Maryland side), which is a collection of rapids and waterfalls on the border of VA and MD. The water level was low but the falls were still pretty impressive. Lately we've been having some balmy early spring type weather, we even saw some trees with buds.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><b>--- 2 ---</b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix5v9JWCgKMbJOFAcBy2o1BQPQtkRnmTzOTP63CDH3IaNLdqWZK8SoevtONz4ZzEDkKNShXToyGSJm5X91GijTdkKFHnMedXwLDr9SNaUjrd4_nlXLCHTXv8zYCE1ZeItTeYB04KQxUw/s1600/twohearts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix5v9JWCgKMbJOFAcBy2o1BQPQtkRnmTzOTP63CDH3IaNLdqWZK8SoevtONz4ZzEDkKNShXToyGSJm5X91GijTdkKFHnMedXwLDr9SNaUjrd4_nlXLCHTXv8zYCE1ZeItTeYB04KQxUw/s1600/twohearts.jpg" /></a></div>
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I mentioned before that I'm reading the book In Sinu Jesu: When Heart Speaks to Heart. For those of us who are trying to spend more time in prayer during Lent I thought I would share this bit of encouragement from Jesus to the author:</div>
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<span class="m_-4631904003150610661m_2701088088770421970m_751386577259896457gmail-m_-1071149832883027351gmail-a-size-base m_-4631904003150610661m_2701088088770421970m_751386577259896457gmail-m_-1071149832883027351gmail-review-text">Your
fatigue and your distractions in adoration are no impediment to My
action in the depths of your soul. I have assured you of this before.
Come before Me and remain before Me even when you feel that your
adoration is no more than a struggle and a failure to remain attentive
in love and focused on My Eucharistic Face. Here, your feelings are of
no importance. What matters in My sight is your humility and your
willingness to endure distractions, fatigue, and even sleepiness while
adoring Me from the heart of your heart. Know that even when you feel
that your adoration has been a waste of time, in My plan it is something
fruitful and it is very pleasing to Me. I do not see things as you see
them nor do I measure their value as you measure it.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">--- 3 ---</span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6U1GHnCxuhEQXXEW4g3rFOt4O59la8nnhssyQukzmY3clX-QTWmeNytGKT43DaYePHymVOl6RVnM5LthHXxF2SSBkrhsiUVQwBo6Fe7JKTJus3_TbE71w34CYRvsjmOh2wQZ36wO5HQ/s1600/passionist-community-newest-members1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6U1GHnCxuhEQXXEW4g3rFOt4O59la8nnhssyQukzmY3clX-QTWmeNytGKT43DaYePHymVOl6RVnM5LthHXxF2SSBkrhsiUVQwBo6Fe7JKTJus3_TbE71w34CYRvsjmOh2wQZ36wO5HQ/s320/passionist-community-newest-members1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Recently I came across a post entitled <a href="http://aleteia.org/2016/11/06/when-i-prayed-for-vocations-i-didnt-mean-god-could-have-my-daughter/">When I prayed for vocations, I didn’t mean God could have MY daughter!</a> where a father shares his initial struggle to accept his daughter's religious vocation with the Passionists, a fully cloistered community (i.e. they never leave the convent). Through his experience he learned to: </div>
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Pray for courage and love and generosity. You will need all of it. As our parish priest reminded us, we’re not giving up a daughter; we’re learning to hold her in a new way.</blockquote>
He also wrote a follow up article entitled <a href="http://aleteia.org/2017/01/19/so-your-loved-one-has-become-a-religious-now-what/">So, your loved one has become a religious… now what?</a> about the many blessing that have come through her vocation.<br />
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So often the witness of the saints tells us that what initially seems like a burden will, through age, and grace, and wisdom, become a most valuable gift. A loved one’s calling to the consecrated life can seem like that; there is pain of separation, but in fairly short order the gift becomes apparent, and then the privilege, which is paradoxically humbling.</blockquote>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">--- 4 ---</span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK4CBCewHn4adlyq3Sg2NPh41GNwIlU6aXHZeWOyXgNguEho772AakR368fEgdCMYcmiPeebBxuk8VhZUSc5t4g5Z-4zScrJBguJ9o7dKISCnTWsGQBdQEgXZMVYW3YlqQQgMLXa5TeA/s1600/nun_fragmented.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK4CBCewHn4adlyq3Sg2NPh41GNwIlU6aXHZeWOyXgNguEho772AakR368fEgdCMYcmiPeebBxuk8VhZUSc5t4g5Z-4zScrJBguJ9o7dKISCnTWsGQBdQEgXZMVYW3YlqQQgMLXa5TeA/s320/nun_fragmented.jpg" width="259" /></a></div>
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Here is another great article entitled <a href="http://aleteia.org/2017/02/22/i-quivered-in-fear-of-the-god-who-was-going-to-make-me-a-nun/">I quivered in fear of the God who was going to “make me” a nun</a> about a poor girl who had convinced herself that God would make her become a nun against her will. Spoiler alert: she eventually learned that God never <i>makes</i> someone become a nun.<br />
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Upon graduating from college I took my “discernment” to the next level, moving into a convent with religious sisters, motivated entirely by my “I might as well get this over with” attitude. I remember the mystified expression of the sister who first welcomed me into their home and heard me explain, “Well God is making me be a nun so I figured I might as well bite the bullet.”</blockquote>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">--- 5 ---</span></b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLn0KySesKkRzB6z_WPRFEYirzn3gV1UbVxeU6jSfjdyfdY3WeRE_gDvVcDQaYDorRWglGsRATmn7l4uAiwv3IauO1fUdPZhSA7ObL47dF_5GMmI5TrZfuporoSbySffGa3djEiwb00A/s1600/monastic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLn0KySesKkRzB6z_WPRFEYirzn3gV1UbVxeU6jSfjdyfdY3WeRE_gDvVcDQaYDorRWglGsRATmn7l4uAiwv3IauO1fUdPZhSA7ObL47dF_5GMmI5TrZfuporoSbySffGa3djEiwb00A/s320/monastic.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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This article called <a href="http://www.crisismagazine.com/2017/monasticism-testifies-gods-reality">How Monasticism Testifies to God’s Reality</a> explains some of the ways that the religious cloister implies the existence of God.<br />
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I begin with a very simple proposition: man inherently desires pleasure. If this is correct, then the fact that so many men and women have throughout the centuries spent their cloistered lives shunning earthly pleasures points, in itself, to the reality of a superior, otherworldly pleasure capable of satisfying this intrinsic desire. “To be a monk,” wrote St. John of the Ladder, “is to know ecstasy without end.” The institution of monasticism would not likely last very long otherwise. </blockquote>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">--- 6 ---</span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDBpV_cqrZggzglpiefYJzNL6eCSCrLxsSDx53fgngSn7H4jyOJirVPK19YFXSHEYX2qSmE3AwhWMUDwFpOo-zOYuSZ9tCYKoWGLGE-V9xLTy-yHrnWYiQsitwTHFWaE6Oi9E0w9hzUw/s1600/social_interaction.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDBpV_cqrZggzglpiefYJzNL6eCSCrLxsSDx53fgngSn7H4jyOJirVPK19YFXSHEYX2qSmE3AwhWMUDwFpOo-zOYuSZ9tCYKoWGLGE-V9xLTy-yHrnWYiQsitwTHFWaE6Oi9E0w9hzUw/s320/social_interaction.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Lesson learned from interacting with other scientists: Never fear social awkwardness. It is better to have an awkward
conversation that conveys awkward love than to hang back and risk implying a
lack of love. I heard a priest once say at the Shrine of St.
Anthony, "your love might be awkward at first but keep loving and over
time it will become more natural." Everything takes practice, I guess!<br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7869186140654078000" name="qt3"></a><b>--- 7 ---</b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizWFWGqGwwd49IHvv7M5I8znm3TsGSW0RwEnxhR4qr3boOdeuR6_6WzRsaaC-L9BoIPt5YNrGRH_qYIeKCw1yfc57Zc0M9tUvqAf7bHHEpmPWNFmvWhaLWzl7M-UQotujFZMAJdjlq8w/s1600/coffee_with_jesus_22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizWFWGqGwwd49IHvv7M5I8znm3TsGSW0RwEnxhR4qr3boOdeuR6_6WzRsaaC-L9BoIPt5YNrGRH_qYIeKCw1yfc57Zc0M9tUvqAf7bHHEpmPWNFmvWhaLWzl7M-UQotujFZMAJdjlq8w/s640/coffee_with_jesus_22.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Today I discovered the comic strip <a href="http://www.radiofreebabylon.com/coffeewithjesus/">Coffee with Jesus</a> by RadioFreeBabylon. Admittedly, I don't know anything about the group, but the comic is pretty awesome.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-YgJTMIEywbpCZYlVuu-8crb_tGyULfTEJglZSIwDMF8DrFrFaaeXM31X1MA1BUI77JC-ZFyR2eQ2y8giCCH6Ih3yUKAQD57rRnSBuidF4fyysUl9gKyTWMz5TXCAvOzruggGO_s9yw/s1600/Seven-Quick-Takes-300x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-YgJTMIEywbpCZYlVuu-8crb_tGyULfTEJglZSIwDMF8DrFrFaaeXM31X1MA1BUI77JC-ZFyR2eQ2y8giCCH6Ih3yUKAQD57rRnSBuidF4fyysUl9gKyTWMz5TXCAvOzruggGO_s9yw/s1600/Seven-Quick-Takes-300x300.jpg" /></a></div>
For more Quick Takes, visit <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/">This Ain't the Lyceum!</a></div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-84868324827754069402017-02-27T03:16:00.000-08:002017-02-27T03:16:55.283-08:00The role of signs in discernment.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWm1thK9q_T2qeMVXJfkCIWd_Ou7nsdGkvWq2iXSOHs1r0NLByhPRVwarWvJWrJqyA7wBMSszNJWwXfex7paeIDVR6dRt7ksAo1Qn8Vgz0c3yit_DqnKRa6E5XvCa7XkBBzD21nbck3A/s1600/killington-hay-festival-7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWm1thK9q_T2qeMVXJfkCIWd_Ou7nsdGkvWq2iXSOHs1r0NLByhPRVwarWvJWrJqyA7wBMSszNJWwXfex7paeIDVR6dRt7ksAo1Qn8Vgz0c3yit_DqnKRa6E5XvCa7XkBBzD21nbck3A/s320/killington-hay-festival-7.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
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I don't have a GPS,
and in some places it won't work anyway, so I always print driving
directions when I'm going to a new place. Unfortunately, sometimes the
directions refer to a road that doesn't exist anymore or a road that is
closed and I have to take a different route. Then I get lost and need to
call someone for directions. When this happened in Montreal on my way
to a science conference, Allison was gracious enough to search a map to figure out where I was and guide me to the hotel.<br /><br />I don't
know if everyone has had the experience of driving while someone tries
to explain directions by cell phone, but it usually goes something like
this: "Do you see a 7 Eleven up ahead? Drive to the 7 Eleven. If you
pass the cow made out of hay bales then you're going in the right
direction." Am I suppose to stop at the hay bales? No, they're just a
sign that I'm going in the right direction. Am I suppose to stop at the 7
Eleven? No, it's just the farthest landmark that I am able to see from
here.<br /><br />This seems to be how God encourages me in the
spiritual life, but I tend to over-interpret and think "He must want me
to stop at the hay bales!" or "I made it to the 7 Eleven, I should apply
for a job and work here for the rest of my life!" This is because I'm
impatient to reach the destination, wanting to skip over that journeying
part. Instead of asking "Are we there yet?", I impulsively assume that
we must be there. This has been especially obvious during my discernment process.<br /><br />For example, as soon as I
started discerning with the Sisters of Life, they started showing up
everywhere! When I went to the Defending the Faith conference in
Steubenville, Scott Hahn mentioned that Cardinal O'Connor (their
founder) had once visited their memorial to the unborn. Then, all of a
sudden, one of the volunteers at our prison ministry brought in a
newspaper article about this fantastic group of Sisters, which happened
to be the Sisters of Life. And just a little while later, I was
volunteering at the Missionaries of Charity with a friend who was asking
about my discernment. A nice couple had shown up earlier wondering if
the Sisters needed help with anything. They overheard our conversation
and the wife said to me, "I saw you come in and thought, she looks like a
Sister of Life." And she told me that her and her husband used to live
in Stamford CT near the Sisters of Life retreat house before moving to
Baltimore a couple of years ago. That's one heck of a coincidence! All
of this made me think, "Wow God, you must be calling me to enter this
community!" Then I finally visited the Sisters of Life and loved so many
things about their community. But if the proof of the pudding is in the
eating, then something wasn't quite right. It didn't seem like the
right flavor for me.<br /><br />So then I was very confused. I've
listened to so many vocation stories that sound just like this. God
calls and then provides a bunch of confirmations and it ends happily
ever after. If this wasn't the right community for me, then why did God
provide all those confirmations? But as Ravi Zacharias points out in his
book The Grand Weaver, a calling can only been seen clearly in
retrospect. I was blessed in so many ways through my visits to the
Sisters of Life and I'm sure that God wanted to encourage me to continue
along that path until it was time to turn off, and not a moment sooner. Lots of times, the final destination is not clear until you've
already gotten there.<br /><br />Similarly, once I started discerning
with the Daughters of Mary of Nazareth, it seemed certain that this
community must be for me. It seemed like God had been preparing me for
this all along. By some strange coincidence, most of the Daughters daily
prayers matched my daily prayers for the LMCs, including the prayer of
abandonment by Bl. Charles de Foucauld. Their charism is to mirror the
Holy Family of Nazareth, which is essentially the same as the LMC
charism. In fact, the LMC movement was originally called the Nazareth
Family Movement. But I was especially amazed to find out that the
foundress of the community had traveled to St. Joseph's Oratory to ask
Sts. Joseph and Andre to intercede for the community just prior to its
foundation. She had promised to bring the Sisters on pilgrimage to the
Oratory at the time of their profession. Meanwhile, it just so happened
that I had been at St. Joseph's Oratory, praying in front of the
incorrupt heart of Brother Andre and asking for God's direction for my
life, just three weeks before hearing God's call during my silent
retreat. This would be the perfect vocation story! Surely I had found
the right place. And yet after visiting, I wasn't quite sure anymore. It
seemed like God wanted me to keep seeking.<br /><br />Looking
back, it was such a wonderful gift to discern with these communities,
and I'm so grateful that the Lord allowed me to rest with them along the
way. In the meantime, I have learned not to rely on signs and wonders
in my discernment, as though I can just read the tea leaves and know the
answer. I really do have to try to follow the promptings of the Holy
Spirit, abandon myself and see where I end up. In the short term, these
signs can encourage me that I am following the right path without
necessarily indicating where I will end up. When I do end up in the
right place, I will be able to look back and see more clearly how each
landmark guided me to the final destination.</div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-22094469562530955402017-02-26T06:39:00.000-08:002017-02-26T06:39:14.227-08:00Discerning God's Call: Part 6<div style="text-align: justify;">
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After hearing God's call during my silent retreat, it was a growing love
for sitting in silence with God that led me to consider primarily
contemplative communities. At the time, I didn't know about many
religious communities so I started surfing the internet. I must have
read about hundreds of communities from cloistered contemplatives to
active communities. I needed to narrow down the options somehow, so I
just picked the communities that seemed the most attractive to me and
trusted the Holy Spirit to guide. With every community I contacted the
Lord blessed me tremendously! One of the great gifts of this process is
that once you've contacted a community they will start praying for you.</div>
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Both in the time leading up to and the month following my first
come-and-see retreat (with the Sisters of Life), I received dramatic
inner healing and spiritual growth. God also used the Sisters to bring
about my total consecration to Jesus through Mary, something the Lord
had recently begun asking me to do. I even saw growth in my family
relations, resulting in deeper spiritual conversations following my time
with the second community (Children of Mary). On my third trip (to the
Daughters of Mary of Nazareth), I felt even more convicted of God's call
after talking with a Sister who left a career in aerospace engineering
to pursue her vocation. However, when it comes to entering a particular
community, Blessed Mother Teresa of Kolkata said: "We must love all
religious orders but we must fall in love with our own." After meeting
with these communities I felt as though I loved them all, but had no
greater attraction to one than another. <br />
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I knew from the
discernment experience of a friend that I would have to rely more on the
guidance of the Holy Spirit than on my own reason. This friend had been
certain that she was called to the Missionaries of Charity. After
getting as far as submitting an application and beginning her
preparation for entrance into their community, her application was
declined due to concerns about her condition of prosopagnosia (face
blindness) which was seen as an obstacle to the MC ministries. But
several months later she announced that she had been accepted into a
fully cloistered Benedictine convent and, although she had been excited
about an MC vocation, she was now beaming with supernatural joy. She
thought she was called to the MCs, but God knew her better. ("For the
Lord sees not as man sees [,,,] but the Lord looks on the heart." 1 Sam
16:7)<br />
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I would say that my discernment has looked less like a
process of human reasoning than a step forward in the dark followed by a
pause to consider whether I should take another tentative step in the
same direction or return and start along a new trajectory (perhaps later
to change my mind and return to the initial trajectory!). Sometimes the
Holy Spirit gives no additional information and leaves me to my own
devices. I then make a decision based on what is hopefully spiritual
intuition, and maybe a little bit of human reason. Other times the Holy
Spirit reveals things about me and the discernment process that make the
path a little bit clearer. Of course, the Holy Spirit also leads
through external circumstances by closing some doors and opening others.
Ultimately this has been a process of getting to know myself better and
growing in discernment of spirits.</div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-81427756944441364862017-02-25T09:30:00.003-08:002017-02-25T09:30:54.087-08:007QT: Ideas for Lent<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<i>Time to prepare for Lent, Ash Wednesday is in four days! Here are seven good resources. Here's hoping everyone has a happy and transformative Lent!</i></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">--- 1 ---</span></b><br /><iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/3OsBk8Xe5Wo/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3OsBk8Xe5Wo?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
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I'm always looking for ways to force myself to exercise. It has been a huge failure lately. But Lent starts on Wednesday and I'm going to commit to 20 minutes of cardio at least 3 times a week. Mom and I have a great new apartment in a complex that has a pretty nice gym for cardio and strength training. Unfortunately, I don't ever go there. In an effort to remove any remaining excuses I have for not exercising regularly, I'm considering trying running in place. Supposedly this is pretty much as beneficial as running outside or on a treadmill, and costs a whole lot less than a home gym.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><b>--- 2 ---</b></span><br /><iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ud_a7CzG_JI/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ud_a7CzG_JI?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
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<a href="http://livethefast.org/">Live the Fast</a> is a great resource for Lent. Their fasting breads are nutrient dense and taste pretty good and the bread is fermented so it can survive shipping. Supposedly, the main reason that I can't live off of water and crusts of bread like St. Philip Neri did for most of his adult life is that the bread was a lot more nutritious back in his day. (Well... I'm not sure Live the Fast would recommend fasting on their bread <i>every</i> day, but it is a great apostolate.) The Live the Fast multigrain rolls need to bake for six minutes so, in the morning of a fasting day, I would bake all of the bread I needed for the day and bring it to work with me. That said, I'm probably going to start buying bread locally because it's hard to fit a bag of 36 rolls in my freezer.</div>
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I've come across some great reading for Lent. I LOVE the book What Jesus Saw from the Cross, by Fr. Sertillanges, which talks about Jesus' interactions with all of the different groups of people present during his crucifixion. But I usually just skim through the first chapter which is a description of what he actually would have seen in terms of architectural structures and natural landmarks. Maybe I'm not good with spatial reasoning or I'm too unimaginative but it reminded me of reading the blueprints for the Ark of the Covenant in the Old Testament. Anyway, the book has endorsements from Fr. Benedict Groeschel, Cardinal O'Connor and St. Teresa of Kolkata, so you know the rest has to be good!</div>
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Regarding Judas' inability to repent and accept God's forgiveness: </div>
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"From the Cross, since here all is forgiveness and redemptive suffering, Jesus does not curse the disciple who has gone astray. He has no anger in His heart; but He leaves him 'in his own place,' according to those terrible words of the Acts [Acts 1:25], for he had made his choice between that place and Calvary. [...] With sorrowful majesty He withdraws His gaze from one who fled Him with an everlasting flight. He has no glance for the 'son of perdition'." In other words, God doesn't send souls to hell, they choose it.<br /><br />
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The book Jesus of Nazareth: Holy Week always knocks my socks off. It is packed full of amazing insights and I always wish I had a photographic memory so I could retain more. Because I don't, I could probably read this book 100 times and still learn something new every time. Pope Benedict XVI presents Jesus' journey through the Passion to the Resurrection in simple and straightforward language that I think would be accessible to most people in small bits.<br />
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Regarding Jesus' large group of disciples:<br />
"Jesus' followers are absent from the place of judgment, absent through fear. But they are also absent in the sense that they fail to step forward <i>en masse</i>. Their voice will make itself heard on the day of Pentecost in Peter's preaching, which cuts 'to the heart' the very people who had earlier supported Barabbas. In answer to the question 'Brethen, what shall we do?' they receive the answer: 'Repent'--renew and transform your thinking, your being. This is the summons which, in view of the Barabbas scene and its many recurrences throughout history, should tear open our hearts and change our lives." How often do we fail to defend Jesus out of fear even when our silence makes it seem like we agree with those who attack the faith?</div>
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For my birthday, a friend gave me the book 33 Days to Merciful Love by Fr. Michael Gaitley. The book is a 33 day long, do-it-youself retreat to consecrate oneself to God's merciful love. I learned today that because March 19 is a Sunday, St Joseph's feast day is moved to March 20 which is the day to start the retreat in order for it to end on Divine Mercy Sunday. Isn't that cool? So I will be making this retreat in addition to re-reading Rediscover Jesus by Matthew Kelly, a practical yet challenging do-it-yourself retreat specifically for Lent.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's always good during Lent to get back to learning the Word of God. Sometimes I commit to listening to the Audio New Testament whenever I'm driving. One can also commit to learning a scripture song each day, for example, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGTQh1GPxmIg0McVWj4LskA">Sing Through the Bible</a>, based on the One Year Bible. This year I'm thinking about listening to the audio version of The Bible in 90 Days by Zondervan, which I will obviously not finish by the end of Lent. But I've already started <a href="http://magazine.biola.edu/article/12-spring/the-easiest-way-to-memorize-the-bible/">this method</a> of memorizing scripture which essentially consists of reading the same passage each day for 50 days and then rote memorizing. The memorization part is suppose to go much faster and be retained much longer.<br /><div style="text-align: center;">
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And, of course, Stations of the Cross! Little Lamb Music recorded Liam Neeson reading St. Alphonsus Liguori's version, which is available on YouTube. <a href="http://www.opusbono.org/">Opus Bono Sacerdotii</a>, one of my favorite charities, offers the <a href="http://www.opusbono.org/documents/2016/2/DM%20Stations%20of%20the%20Cross.pdf">Divine Mercy Stations of the Cross</a> for the intentions of priests. <a href="http://wdtprs.com/blog/2016/04/stations-of-the-cross-audio-from-fr-z-3/">Fr. Zulsdorf</a> has recorded several versions that are available on his blog, including Cardinal Ratzinger, Bl. John Henry Newman and the Franciscan stations. I'm sure there are other fantastic versions out there so feel free to share! Or share your own ideas for a transformative Lent. :-)</div>
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For more Quick Takes, visit <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/">This Ain't the Lyceum!</a></div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-73177174362396615712017-02-24T02:25:00.001-08:002020-03-29T17:30:31.944-07:00Discerning God's Call: Part 5<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Sr. Juana Teresa @ 7:35</div>
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For a while I had a difficult time understanding exactly why I
would not feel called to enter a teaching
community. Finally I listened to Sr. Juana Teresa's vocation story about finding the Disciples of Our Lord Jesus
Christ and something she said resonated with me. Essentially, if I'm teaching a math class
then I can try to work in references to God by, for example, promising
to pray for the students and maybe taking five minutes at the beginning
of class to read from Pascal's theological texts, pointing out that he
was both a Catholic and a Physicist. But for the most part I need to be
talking about math and helping the students to learn it. The school, the
parents and the students are entitled to that. They have a right to
expect me to spend most of the time discussing math. If I were to spend
significant amounts of time talking about other things, even God, then I
would not be fulfilling the duties of my state in life. In fact, it is
extremely important to have math teachers who are able to integrate
their spiritual lives with their work lives and fulfill the duties of
this state, for example, through the spirituality of Opus Dei (the Work
of God).<br />
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The same is true of my current job as a research
scientist. I can share with my coworkers my latest spiritual endeavors
and offer to pray for their intentions, but my employer has a right to
expect me to spend most of my time and mental power on problems of
atmospheric composition, satellites and instrumentation, solar flares,
etc. To spend significant amounts of time either actively sharing my
faith or directing my thoughts toward God is not within the scope of the
duties of my state in life. My employer provided me with a job
description which I accepted and I am getting paid to deliver on that.
Realizing this, I have tried to incorporate the teachings of St
Josemaria Escriva and St Therese (The Little Way) into my work in order
to spiritualize the secular tasks that are required by my state. This is
a beautiful spirituality for those in secular life and I fully believe
in the universal call to holiness, realizing that my job is in no way
incompatible with the spiritual life. However, at times I feel a persistent,
strong desire to pray continually and preach the gospel at all times
which, as though the very walls
around me are crying out.<br />
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That said, it is amazing how many
opportunities the Lord has given me to share my faith, for example,
explaining Papal Infallibility to senior scientists at lunch and
debating religious liberty and conscience violation while riding with a
coworker to a team meeting. It comes up quite often considering every
conversation is brief and somewhat isolated. Sometimes I feel
discouraged that most of our short conversations focus on trivialities,
but I think this is a consequence of the environment. It is difficult to
connect with people and be fully present to them amidst the frenetic
activity. An emotional connection is so necessary in order to
communicate at a deeper level. Of course I have tried, and I think this
has born fruit in situations such as those mentioned above.<br />
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Recently
I finished reading The Heavenly Man: The Remarkable True Story of Chinese Christian Brother Yun, about a Chinese Christian who has been imprisoned several times for the faith. I was struck by Yun's observation: "In a way, even
though I was now free, I found it difficult to leave the
prison. Inside, the spiritual fellowship with my fellow Christians had
been very deep and sweet. The bonds we made were very strong. We served
one another in love, and shared our whole lives with each other. In the
outside world people are busy and have many things to do. Most of our
relationships are little more than skin-deep." Often, the skin deep nature of relationships makes it difficult to share the faith.</div>
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But
the difficulties of my present circumstances have little bearing on the
course my life will take. As we know, we are all called to take
up our cross and follow Jesus. In terms of vocational discernment, the
only important question is: what is God calling me to do? If God desires
for me to stay in my current job then I need to be abandoned to Divine
Providence and accept that as my calling. I will pray and trust that the
Lord will open my spiritual eyes to see Him present everywhere.
However, I do believe that God enkindled in me a
desire for Religious Life and spoke directly to my heart at Holy
Cross Abbey. So for now, I'm continuing along this discernment path.</div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-5815850682159799222017-02-22T16:45:00.001-08:002017-02-23T06:23:40.146-08:00Discerning God's Call: Part 4<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhASLlxdCo8r9XHvthPij8OtV4MplZ9-xcpuXiK00QlX93w_gv0Qe5_v-WHXNqySdnvBY3ftBOzC2Ur_3dqY_4FBde6ihDCW6ayLtDBNldp07Vm1v8S8U5ctj4lThLY_BWyUCJQGzok7g/s1600/holy_cross_abbey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhASLlxdCo8r9XHvthPij8OtV4MplZ9-xcpuXiK00QlX93w_gv0Qe5_v-WHXNqySdnvBY3ftBOzC2Ur_3dqY_4FBde6ihDCW6ayLtDBNldp07Vm1v8S8U5ctj4lThLY_BWyUCJQGzok7g/s320/holy_cross_abbey.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">retreat house chapel at Holy Cross Abbey</td></tr>
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I've
been reading the book, In Sinu Jesu: When Heart Speaks to Heart. It's
basically the spiritual journal of an anonymous Benedictine monk who,
during Eucharistic adoration, was inspired to record certain messages
from God. He writes:</div>
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"The vocabulary and the style are mine, but
the substance of what I wrote came during prayer, without any effort or
prior reflection on my part. There would be an inner movement to write,
and I would write until the inspiration stopped. After writing, there
would be a grace of quiet union with Our Lord or with Our Lady."</div>
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Once,
on a silent retreat at the Trappists' Holy Cross Abbey in Berryville
VA, I had a similar experience. It was the Vigil of the Feast of the
Holy Trinity in 2015. After spending a good amount of time praying in
front of the tabernacle in the austere chapel at the retreat house, I
was relaxing in my room. Then, all of a sudden, I felt compelled to
write. Words flowed onto the page followed by a deep sense of peace.
After a short period of time had passed, I slowly read through the words
I had written.</div>
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"I am the bridegroom and my spouse is the Church.
Every member of the Church, my body, will be espoused to me in a chaste
consummation of love. I love you. I have taken away your sins. You were
washed clean in Baptism and set free to love me without shame. Do not
be afraid to love me because of your past sins. In Heaven we will be
espoused but my love is impatient, why must we hold back? Why must we
wait to give ourselves, to abandon ourselves to each other? I am ready. I
am the maiden in the Song of Songs waiting for you to come to me, to
meet me in the chamber. You think that you are the one searching for me,
but I am the one searching for you with my infinite, as yet unrequited,
love. Receive my love and return what I have given you. Your wedding
gift is the pearl of great price."</div>
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Praying and meditating on
these words, it began to seem to me that the Lord was calling me to
religious life and that I was hindered by feelings of inadequacy due to
sins committed before my baptism. Within the next two days the Lord made
it clear that such stains, which have been washed white as wool by the
blood of the lamb, present no obstacle.</div>
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As Fr. William Doyle, SJ
wrote in his fantastic document called <a href="https://fatherdoyle.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/vocations.pdf">Vocations</a>: "Often that invitation is
extended to those whom we would least expect. Magdalene, steeped to the
lips in iniquity, became the spouse of the Immaculate; Matthew,
surrounded by his ill-gotten gains; Saul, 'breathing out threatenings
and slaughter against the Christians,' each heard that summons, for a
sinful life in the past, St. Thomas teaches, is no impediment to a
vocation."</div>
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"The first duty of the consecrated life is to make
visible the marvels wrought by God in the frail humanity of those who
are called. They bear witness to these marvels not so much in words as
by the eloquent language of a transfigured life, capable of amazing the
world." (Vita Consecrata)</div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-16147732600342593562017-02-20T13:53:00.000-08:002017-02-20T13:53:01.621-08:00Discerning God's Call: Part 3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6fx6xWPXCVwrzc6UahrP8GgMsK0bvfPDYOr3e8CfneQY-XuDa0I1GltRna8ANfzLJHsNhH3_4aOersO-a-S1bzZ9r06qZFlO2EAHX4G4RU1dloNRXf7JDfX-ijCp9kd8w7JVTvgJVow/s1600/mercy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6fx6xWPXCVwrzc6UahrP8GgMsK0bvfPDYOr3e8CfneQY-XuDa0I1GltRna8ANfzLJHsNhH3_4aOersO-a-S1bzZ9r06qZFlO2EAHX4G4RU1dloNRXf7JDfX-ijCp9kd8w7JVTvgJVow/s320/mercy.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Through my frequent spiritual reading I began to learn more about God's love and the path to contemplative union with God which, as St. John of the Cross and many others taught, is the end goal of every spiritual journey. It is the path to perfection. I began to spend a lot of time in <a href="http://greatjesusexperiment.blogspot.com/2015/04/my-body-pines-for-you.html">acquired contemplation</a>, practicing the necessary disposition for receiving God's gift of infused contemplation. I spent a lot of time in the desert, spiritually speaking. But occasionally God would bless me with a more intimate experience of his love.</div>
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A Meditation on the Sacred Heart of Jesus</div>
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True love is love that causes us pain, that hurts, and yet brings us joy. That is why we must pray to God and ask Him to give us the courage to love.</div>
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--St. Teresa of Kolkata--</div>
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He came to live in me and suffer in my body. "See me. Recognize me. Know me. Burn with love for me." The kiss of Christ crucified is a sword through the heart. Yet honey itself is not sweeter. "When you burn with love for me, you will burn with love for all souls." O Holy Spirit, Fire of Love, immolate me as a burnt offering to our Heavenly Father!</div>
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Our Lord Jesus holds his Sacred Heart in his outstretched hand, offering it to me as he does every day in Holy Communion, that I may drink of the blood and water flowing from his Divine Heart. He comes to me in this way, that I may receive him physically in a chaste consummation of love. That I may be in him and he in me.</div>
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The widest land doom takes to part us, leaves thy heart in mine with pulses that beat double. What I do and what I dream include Thee, as the wine must taste of its own grapes. And when I sue God for myself, He hears that name of Thine, and sees within my eyes the tears of two.</div>
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--Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Sonnets from the Portuguese, 6--</center>
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The Lord greatly increased my desire for union with Him and I began to pray a prayer of abandonment shared by Fr. Garrigou-Lagrange in his book Three Ages of the Interior Life. "My God, make me know the obstacles which I more or less consciously place to the working of grace in my soul. Show these obstacles to me at the moment when I am about to place them. Give me the strength to remove them, and if I am negligent in doing so, do thou deign to remove them, though I should suffer greatly. I wish only thee, Lord, who alone art necessary. Grant that my life here on earth may be like eternal life begun."</div>
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Later I would be led by the writings of Fr. Sebastian, the founder of the Lay Missionaries of Charity, to a Post-synodal Apostolic Exhortation by Pope St. John Paul II called Vita Consecrata (Consecrated Life). There I read: "In the countenance of Jesus, the 'image of the invisible God' (Col 1:15) and the reflection of the Father's glory (cf. Heb 1:3), we glimpse the depths of an eternal and infinite love which is at the very root of our being. Those who let themselves be seized by this love cannot help abandoning everything to follow him (cf. Mk 1:16-20; 2:14; 10:21, 28). Like Saint Paul, they consider all else as loss 'because of the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus Christ', by comparison with which they do not hesitate to count all things as 'refuse', in order that they 'may gain Christ' (Phil 3:8)." (Vita Consecrata)</div>
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The Lord has given me tastes of his Divine Love that have left me longing and thirsting for God, pining for Him like a dry, weary land without water (Psalm 63). I had lived joyfully and easily the gift of celibacy, and now I cannot conceive of any human relationship satisfying this longing for divine love. The Lord Jesus thirsts for each of us individually. Mother Teresa heard his words "I thirst" as an expression of his yearning for union with each one of us, a yearning symbolized in the Song of Songs. Pope Benedict XVI explained in the encyclical Deus Caritas Est that God's love for his people is both passionate and selfless. "God is the absolute and ultimate source of all being; but this universal principle of creation—the Logos, primordial reason—is at the same time a lover with all the passion of a true love. Eros is thus supremely ennobled, yet at the same time it is so purified as to become one with agape." Indeed, how could one help abandoning everything to follow him?</div>
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At this point, I still had not discerned a call to the Religious Life, but I believe that God was steadily preparing my heart.</div>
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"It is the Spirit who awakens the desire to respond fully; it is he who guides the growth of this desire, helping it to mature into a positive response and sustaining it as it is faithfully translated into action." (Vita Consecrata)</div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-25033026823981602592017-02-19T17:59:00.001-08:002017-02-23T16:23:47.149-08:00Musings on the Religious Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/jkLt4iJ0KRU/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jkLt4iJ0KRU?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkLt4iJ0KRU">Carmelite Nuns explain their vocation.</a></div>
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The vocation to Religious Life is truly a calling, a free
gift of God, to enter into the inner circle of Jesus' companions. "Soon
afterwards, he began going around from one city and village to another,
proclaiming and preaching the kingdom of God. The twelve were with him,
and also some women who had been healed of evil spirits and sicknesses."
(Luke 8:1-3) </div>
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All Catholics are called to Holiness, but those in religious life (monks, nuns, friars, religious sisters) are called to a more literal following of the historical life of Christ. It is a call to live the Gospel: "The consecrated life truly constitutes a living memorial of Jesus' way of living and acting as the Incarnate Word in relation to the Father and in relation to the brethren." (VC)* All are called to live a certain poverty, chastity and obedience but the Religious is called to manifest the extreme poverty, chastity and obedience of Jesus. For example, the rich young man kept all the commandments, but when asked to relinquish all of his belongings and follow Jesus he went away sad. The vocation to religious life is essentially the same call.</div>
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The Desert Fathers (hermits) can be considered the first to enter religious life. Some say they did so because Christianity had gained
greater acceptance and it was no longer likely that a person would
suffer martyrdom in the literal sense. Therefore, they chose to leave
the world and 'crucify' their own desires in order to die to self in a
spiritual martyrdom. The religious life is a white martyrdom, through
which the individual is emptied of self and filled with Christ. This can
also be seen as the path of contemplative union with God. </div>
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St. Bernard and St. Thomas Aquinas referred to Religious Life as a second baptism. As in the first baptism we die to our previous life of sin, in professing perpetual vows we die to our life in the world. We are consecrated, or set apart, for the service of God. (This is one of the reasons why the Religious Sister receives a new name, because she has died to her previous life. It also indicates a new kind of relationship with God, like when Abram was renamed Abraham.) This requires a complete giving of self, a pouring out, that is modeled by Jesus' death on the cross and the outpouring of blood and water from his sacred side. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." In this way, the religious life is a life of sacrifice for love of neighbor and, ultimately, for the salvation of souls.</div>
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*Post-synodal Apostolic Exhortation, Vita Consecrata (Consecrated Life) by Pope St. John Paul I </div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-29990455268955470762017-02-18T14:48:00.001-08:002017-02-23T06:22:49.903-08:007QT: March for Life and more<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<i>In which mom and I get tricked again by the March for Life. We thought we had seen the whole March and it hadn't even officially started. Doh!</i></div>
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Somehow I always have trouble finding the hundreds of thousands of people gathered for the March for Life. You would expect it to be easy! But I have a true gift for not finding things.<br />
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This year I went to the March for Life with mom and it was AWESOME as usual. It's like a great big Catholic family reunion, including some family friends like the Lutherans for Life and the Eastern Orthodox.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><b>--- 2 ---</b></span><br />
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<a href="https://www.conservativereview.com/commentary/2017/01/7-signs-from-the-march-for-life-that-are-sure-to-touch-your-heart" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhezKHn2HdqDCn1HmSj2XIY0Rb6BPnQFqV7dvKuBsqh5BYqwIAmGReBDI1tsGGGIgXIvkPWqj_WqO2nM7KtBXiiPM7JED6P8puF2fbHTfZmlCmgycGoA2gmr66TOFu5MeSqKsKMPGm3nA/s320/Conceived+from+rape+posters.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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It wasn't too cold this year but it was really windy. Mom and I walked about a quarter of the way and prayed part of the rosary with a group of seminarians. Mom paused for a while with a group of people who had been conceived by rape and were giving an interview. It turned out to be <a href="http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/lauretta-brown/woman-conceived-rape-condemns-obamacares-rape-exception">Rebecca Kiessling</a>'s group. She was featured in Mike Huckabee's documentary "The Gift of Life" and her story thoroughly convinced me that, even in cases of rape, abortion is not acceptable.</div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">--- 3 ---</span></b></div>
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And it turns out that a lot of fantastic people were conceived through rape:<br />
<a href="http://tinseltownmom.com/10-celebrities-who-were-conceived-by-rape-or-bore-a-child-out-of-rape/">http://tinseltownmom.com/10-celebrities-who-were-conceived-by-rape-or-bore-a-child-out-of-rape/ </a><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">--- 4 ---</span></b></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlRWYnUO6Og">Time lapsed video of March for Life</a></div>
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Anyway, for a while mom and I stood on the steps of a building to watch everyone pass. After maybe 100,000 people passed by there was a huge break and we could see police cars in the distance. We figured it was over and almost went home. But after loitering for a while we could see the big March for Life banner and flags (at about 0:42 in the time lapsed video). We realized that we hadn't even seen the main part of the March! We were probably there for about an hour more, watching the rest of the people walk by. Then we joined some teenagers toward the back and finished the March to the Supreme Court building.</div>
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I've mentioned the secular Pro-Life groups in the past but wanted to share an excerpt from a <a href="http://blog.secularprolife.org/2016_02_01_archive.html">great blog post</a>. Of course, I don't think that there is any compelling reason for abortion but I agree with the rest.<br />
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The act of abortion itself, if done
without compelling reason, is unjust treatment of the unborn. In a society that
condones injustice, everyone in the society is diminished – men and women. That
act is particularly harmful to the woman. It treats a fundamental female
function as a disease that has to be cured surgically in order for the woman to
be more like a man. When pregnant women feel they must resort to abortion for
the sake of career goals, pregnant women’s genuine contributions to society are
deemed insufficient to win society’s rewards, without their first employing
violence against the weak. Abortion pits the woman against her child in an
unequal contest. Either she must willfully deny the humanity of her child—an
increasingly difficult fiction to maintain in the era of modern technology—or
consciously recognize that her child is human and alive just like her, and
settle their conflicting interests through might makes right. Both possibilities place a psychological
burden on the woman alone.</blockquote>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">--- 6 ---</span></b></div>
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On a brighter note, Andy came to visit me and mom at the end of January and we went up to Noxen PA to visit Grampa and Flo for a couple of days. He just got accepted to nursing school and we're all pretty excited about that. Back in Maryland, Andy and I tried the Fractured Prune but we were a little overwhelmed by all of the flavors, kind of like the make-your-own ice cream sundays we had as kids. We decided that the french toast (or was it pancake?), which sounded the most boring, was the best. I think it had maple glaze and cinnamon and sugar.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7869186140654078000" name="qt3"></a><b>--- 7 ---</b></span></div>
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FYI, I did make the french onion dip and it was fantastically awesome with our Terra's Taro chips. For my birthday, we made some more dip and had some friends over for pizza! We used zucchini flatbread for crust, nightshade free red sauce, vegan cheese and turkey pepperoni. For a birthday cake, mom made me a yummy chocolate microwave mug cake.<br />
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<a href="http://gutsybynature.com/2014/06/01/onion-dip-dairy-free-option/">Dairy Free French Onion Dip</a> -- sans bacon, sub dill for rosemary, see vegan mayonnaise recipe below<br />
<a href="http://janeshealthykitchen.com/homemade-mayo-egg-free/">Homemade Vegan Mayonnaise</a> -- sans mustard and sweetened with two drops of stevia<br />
<a href="http://empoweredsustenance.com/paleo-zucchini-flatbread/">Paleo Zucchini Flatbread</a> -- squeeze out as much water as possible<br />
<a href="http://allrecipes.com/recipe/235539/best-mug-cake-paleo/">Microwave Mug Cake</a> -- with Lilly's chocolate chips<br />
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For more Quick Takes, visit <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/">This Ain't the Lyceum!</a></div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-32702466256169116172017-02-17T03:38:00.001-08:002017-02-17T03:38:10.769-08:00Discerning God's Call: Part 2<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqEMOaAVBchnOOfa4vIlIC4lzYpsarI8Z5-gETQhkxm587SP6AeQAr7b1vZ_l9mtj5ElX69UpwKI9Epar9UioShtT97KsiUYCVNgRtIV6S3nj1YQpyqpFOp0EeTv8LE-aKCR_kNQfoGA/s1600/blessed_sacrament.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqEMOaAVBchnOOfa4vIlIC4lzYpsarI8Z5-gETQhkxm587SP6AeQAr7b1vZ_l9mtj5ElX69UpwKI9Epar9UioShtT97KsiUYCVNgRtIV6S3nj1YQpyqpFOp0EeTv8LE-aKCR_kNQfoGA/s320/blessed_sacrament.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Blessed Sacrament Church in Seattle</td></tr>
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In July 2014, I went on a work trip to a conference in Seattle. After praying that the Lord would give me grace to see Him present at the conference, my mind was filled with interesting thoughts regarding a theology of science. It reminded me of a small group of Dominican Friars formed to address the relationship between faith and science. I recognized the freedom that these friars have to pursue God in all things, a freedom I do not feel like I have in my present position, and began to imagine my life as a Dominican Sister. To my surprise, the more I thought about it the more I felt drawn to the Religious life and it seemed to fulfill my deepest yearnings, including:</div>
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1.) a public vow of celibacy<br />
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For quite a while I have felt called to celibacy for the sake of the kingdom, recognizing that living the single life leaves a person free for the matters of God, as St. Paul pointed out (1 Cor 7:32).</div>
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2.) a spiritual family<br />
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One of the obvious downsides of lifelong celibacy is not being able to start a family of my own, but I saw that living in community provides a spiritual family where a spouse and biological offspring are lacking.</div>
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3.) community support of my faith<br />
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Nowadays it can be difficult to stand up for the faith because so often it feels like I'm standing alone. In community, we can bolster each other's faith and be more courageous in our witness.</div>
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4.) radical modesty and physical witness through the Religious habit<br />
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Nowadays, simply wearing a religious habit makes a strong statement of faith.</div>
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5.) living with Jesus in the Eucharist or within a few minutes walk<br />
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After having spent time in retreat houses with tabernacles, I desperately wanted to have such easy access to Eucharistic Adoration on a regular basis.</div>
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6.) prayer as a priority and greater discipline<br />
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In the Religious life, one has access to Mass and the Divine Office and the rosary every day and regulated penances, and plenty of opportunities to share the fruits of contemplation.</div>
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My previous complaints started to seem silly. I had complained that modern-day religious orders are not penitential enough; however, the consecrated life demands many difficult sacrifices that my current life does not. And certainly God is capable of sending whatever suffering necessary to make me grow in holiness! But my biggest concern was that my family needs my financial and emotional support. However, surely when a woman enters Religious life her relationship with family grows deeper and the Lord provides for them in the ways that she no longer can. My final argument had been that the vow of obedience would not leave me fully apostolically available to the Holy Spirit. Essentially I was afraid that my superior may not be guided by the Holy Spirit and that God would not be free to lead me directly if I were under a vow of obedience. But nothing can stand in the way of God's will. The Religious life started to seem a little bit less scary and a little bit more possible.</div>
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A couple of times before, I had wondered about Religious life but brushed it aside by rationalizing that I couldn't even consider such a thing while my grandmother was alive. At the time I had thought that she had many years left, but the Lord knew differently. Now just one month after her death I was already thinking about it again. This week, each morning before the conference, I woke up with this idea in my mind. One morning I planned to go to Mass at Blessed Sacrament Church, which had adoration then Divine Office then Mass then rosary. That morning in the shower, as I was again pondering potential Religious vocations, I picked up my foot to step out of the tub. My other foot flew out from under me and I fell into the bottom of the shower after smashing my head on the wall. I didn't seem to have a concussion, but I wondered if maybe the devil either didn't want me considering a vocation or he didn't want me getting to this church (or both). Feeling tempted to skip Mass, I pushed myself to go anyway.</div>
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The first day I attended Blessed Sacrament was the Feast of the Birth of St. John the Baptist. Father talked about how John the Baptist went to the desert and grew and became strong before beginning his ministry to the Israelites. Father said that sometimes we will go years or even decades simply growing and becoming strong in our faith before God calls us to a mission. But we should pray for the mission to be revealed to us when the time comes and work at growing stronger in the meantime.</div>
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During the week of the conference, I went to this parish for three days and every day I was surprised anew at the beauty of the Divine Office chanted by the priest and some parishioners. I felt like I was experiencing some of Heaven on Earth and yearned to be able to have such an experience every day. It renewed my love for the liturgy and gave me a deeper sense of longing for the consecrated life.</div>
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As I mentioned before, our local priest had encouraged me to look into some active communities, so one night I decided to watch some vocational discernment videos on YouTube. It actually threw me into turmoil! For example, the video showed Sisters joyfully playing volleyball and I had repeated flashbacks to volleyballs smashing the glasses off of my face. I also saw a wonderful Sister doing an amazing job of teaching an elementary school class. But teaching elementary school is one thing I feel almost certain I am not called to do. After watching the video, I felt sure that if I were to become a Sister I would be forced to be a kindergarten teacher who plays basketball every day and that I would never be happy. This threw me into a sort of depression. At this point I had heard of active communities and fully-cloistered contemplative communities and I didn't feel called to either. I didn't realize that there were other options in between.</div>
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On Wednesday, having obsessed for over a day about vocational discernment, I realized that the Lord doesn't want me to lose my peace and that I don't have to determine my entire future in the period of a few days. And so, again, I set aside any discernment and left the matter in God's hands.</div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-37636585872250761802017-02-14T16:47:00.000-08:002017-02-14T16:47:44.720-08:00Discerning God's Call: Part 1<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and gramma at The Walters Art Museum in Baltimore</td></tr>
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My mom recently became friends with a young lady from Africa who asked how I came to consider the possibility of religious life. Below is Part 1 of I'm not sure how many posts on the topic.<br />
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"It's good that Sarah has faith. I just hope she doesn't go overboard and become a nun!" Later on, my grandmother decided she shouldn't have said that because "I guess it's suppose to be a good thing when somebody becomes a nun." But the idea of becoming a nun seemed so impossible to me that I couldn't imagine why my grandmother was worrying about it.<br />
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Of course, I have noticed the big push to get teenagers and undergraduates to visit religious communities and for the guys to learn about the priesthood. The idea is to encourage young Catholics to consider these vocations which they might otherwise think of as 'too hard' or 'great for someone else but not for me'. And in fact, many young people are surprised to find that they are inexplicably attracted to religious consecration. However, I became Catholic at age 29 with a career in research science. Making a bunch of visits 'just in case' really wasn't feasible for me.<br />
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And so, discerning religious life is not something that was really on my radar. I often prayed for direction in my life and for God's will to be made known. I even prayed that God would give me a specific vocation; you know, maybe I would open a halfway house somewhere. However, every time I asked God, I seemed to get the same non-answer: "Now is not the time to ask this question. Keep doing what you're doing and come back later."<br />
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It's not that I felt certain that God would <i>not</i> call me to religious life, but I didn't see much point in exploring the option before feeling called to it. It's not a vocation that one can choose. The call has to come from God. And God wasn't answering with what I might be called to do.<br />
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At the end of 2013, instead of meeting with my primary spiritual director, I started meeting with a local priest for several months. We got talking about vocations. When I told him about the amazing way that Divine Providence had led me to a career in research science, he figured this meant I was called to the secular life and not religious life. I wrote a letter explaining this to my grandmother who was pretty sick with cancer, knowing she would be comforted.<br />
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It was kind of nice to have that door closed. But after a few months of getting to know me, Father was singing a different tune. He was beginning to think that maybe I actually am called to a religious vocation. He started recommending that I visit some active communities. Unfortunately, this was the worst time for me to visit anyone. My grandmother's situation had gotten considerably worse and now she was in the process of dying. I used all of my vacation time to see her as much as possible and I was so stressed out! Cutting out any unnecessary activities was the only way for me to stay sane. Not only did I not visit any religious communities, but I stopped spiritual direction altogether. However, I did respect Father's advice and left the door open to the possibility of visiting some communities in the future.<br />
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The door was back open, but I still didn't have any sense of God calling me. So I continued to hold off on any kind of vocational discernment pending further direction from the Holy Spirit.</div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-56046441439254146392017-01-24T03:09:00.002-08:002017-01-24T03:09:45.648-08:00Women do deserve better!<div style="text-align: justify;">
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No one can deny that at conception a sort of big bang occurs (pardon my French) at which point a new life is put into motion. A life is conceived that will develop from that moment. The perpetual discussion of when a fetus becomes a baby or when a baby develops personhood distracts from the obvious fact that the story of a new life has begun at conception. Each of us can trace our personal story back to the moment of our conception. It was our conception that was the decisive moment before which I did not exist and after which my personal existence had begun. It makes no sense to trace my development back to some arbitrary point four weeks or three months or however long after I had been conceived.<br />
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If my mother had an abortion one week after conceiving me then I wouldn't be here. My life would have been quenched out of existence. Sperm and eggs and fetuses are not interchangeable, we know that because of our unique DNA footprints. Many women decide to have an abortion because they don't feel ready to raise a child now. They often have planned pregnancies later. The language of 'choice' and 'family planning' makes it sound like the planned baby I am having now is the same baby that would have been born three years ago had I not had an abortion. But they are not the same baby. I chose that this baby would live. I chose that the first baby would never live. Two babies. Only one allowed to live.<br />
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Anyone who truly respects the dignity of each person and believes that each individual has an equal right to exist (and how can equality exist without an equal right to be alive??) must believe that abortion is wrong since it deprives the person whose DNA has already been 'used' and stamped on a particular zygote the right to exist. Even from a secular perspective this is a gross violation of the right to life. Nobody wins PowerBall twice. No two zygotes are alike. And for the Christian person this is especially obvious. Each person is assigned a soul and the soul is not re-used. Human beings have a body. And only one body.<br />
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Two of the greatest hypocrisies of the pro-choice movement are the assertions that 1.) those who are aborted are better off never having lived a life that could be full of suffering and that 2.) their mothers are better off without them. And yet from this perspective, one would expect the movement to be led by people who wish they had never been born and cry out that they were denied the right to non-existence. It should be filled with mothers crying out that their children have ruined their lives and that everything would be so much better "if only I'd had an abortion!". This is not the case. Why? First, because we know that even most pro-choice individuals would 'choose' their own existence over non-existence. And second, because we easily recognize the horror of a mother rejecting her own child. The latter is also evidenced by the fact that many women will justify abortion over adoption because "if I'm not going to raise him then I don't want anybody to raise him." However, these two tragic assertions betray our innate understanding of two aspects of the natural law that is written on our hearts.</div>
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First, it is clear that we recognize the duty of each person to endure whatever suffering life brings from birth until natural death, because if suicide is truly the mercy some make it out to be then no one would need to fear another person's suffering to the point of procuring abortion just in case. In most cases, the child could simply grow up to the age of reason and then personally decide whether or not to end his/her own life.<br />
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Second, when we hear women saying things like "if I'm not going to raise him then I don't want anybody to raise him", this reveals the natural law written on our hearts that says that it's wrong to reject one's child and that every child deserves to be loved and cared for by his/her biological parents.<br />
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Perversions of the natural law, while incapable of completely obscuring God's Truth, result in so many women throughout the world who have been scarred by abortion and are haunted by visions of their lost children, knowing by experience that there is no way to destroy one's child and not suffer for it. It is a difficult situation. Anyone who has committed this offense and recognized the horror of it needs emotion and spiritual healing rather than condemnation. But the lies have to stop. Women certainly do deserve better than abortion.<br />
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The right to exist and the right (and duty!) to continue to live until a natural death, whether that natural death comes within the womb or five days after being born or at age 96, is a right more fundamental than any other worldly right and must not be compromised even in an attempt to alleviate the worst suffering, be it physical, mental or emotional. Even our rationalizations bear witness to this truth.</div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-34300278005774863432017-01-05T02:58:00.000-08:002017-01-05T02:58:12.783-08:00A Spiritual Root Canal.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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Below are notes from an examination I made following a regional retreat led by Monsignor Esseff for the Lay Missionaries of Charity. This retreat marked the conclusion of a particularly difficult year during which I was prone to negative introspection. On the positive side, I became aware that my fear of displeasing others often paralyzes me, which is no surprise in our politically correct culture where one of the worst evils is to offend someone. This realization initiated an ongoing struggle toward greater assertiveness and freedom from the dreaded guilt complex. I posted an excerpt a while back but it may be worth posting the longer version.</div>
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A Spiritual Root Canal<br />
2014 Lay Missionaries of Charity Regional Retreat, Mount Pocono PA</div>
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I feel like there are enemy strongholds (at least one) that oppress me and due to the LMC retreat and some other things that have happened (and possibly due to things that will happen soon), the enemy feels threatened and is trying to make my life miserable. By the grace of God, although I have fallen into misery at times, I have been emotionally steady for the most part.<br />
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This stronghold inhibits my spiritual life and manifests typically as fear and resistance to performing good works; sometimes I feel that no matter how badly I want to do a good work no amount of coaxing or threatening myself can get me to do it. In fact, the more effort I put into trying to overcome the resistance the worse I seem to fair. Evil thoughts enter my mind saying things like "I've always failed before so this time will be no different." "Even if God were to give me the words to say I would not say them because I'm such a coward." Obsessive guilt and rationalization always follow.<br />
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Many people have offered advice and suggested that I am simply weak-willed. They tell me that in every situation I have a choice as to what I will do and I need to more strongly exert my will to make the right choice. But I feel like my will can never be strong enough to overcome an enemy stronghold.<br />
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People tell me that I need stronger faith, greater trust in God, more respect for self and love of my neighbor, greater contrition, etc. etc. All of this is true, and I pray for it. The primary battleground happens to be at my job. This is where I fail the most in performing the good works that I feel called to. This makes me unhappy, which is perhaps reasonable. However, for a while, I felt bitter toward God for not leading me somewhere that I could be more spiritually competent. I have a strong desire to feel 'useful' to God, when I need to be satisfied with His love alone. After the last few years of praying about it, I feel that this job is where God wills me to be right now.<br />
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People offer me knowledge and advice. They tell me that I'm unhappy because I'm doing things wrong or because I'm seeing the situation in the wrong way. They remind me that I'm there to save souls and that my mere presence is an important witness. I am bringing Jesus to the people who would never go to him. My suffering is a gift that I can offer for their conversions and that will more closely unite me with our suffering Lord.<br />
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I've read Practicing the Presence of God and He Leadeth Me and Abandonment to Divine Providence and feel that I have enough knowledge to prepare me one hundred times over for what needs to happen and where I lack. But somehow my heart doesn't listen or understand. I feel like I should continue to struggle in this way until God provides transformational grace. But I see my pride in everything I have related so far. I see it everywhere. Often I can no longer distinguish between what comes from God and what comes from my pride. Everything seems to be pride. I feel lost and like I can no longer trust my ability to discern God's will.<br />
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I long for interior silence to stop the constant reasoning in my mind. I need to listen to the voice of God, but I don't know how. Maybe God will teach me if I would just sit in silence for a while. Probably what I do need is more silent adoration. Eucharistic Adoration is my refuge where I find peace. I think that perhaps God wants me to rest in His peace and grow stronger. I am a doer and something inside makes me feel guilty for resting. I think God wants to cure me of that. Allowing me to rest in Him is a way that God shows me his love. I need to learn to rest in order to experience God's love. Maybe I can let Him do the 'doing' for a while. Maybe listening to His voice is not always like receiving orders. Maybe I can listen to His breathing. Maybe I can listen to the voice of God singing a lullaby. Maybe His voice is simply telling me that He loves me. And I ignore that voice. I don't believe that voice comes from God. Because I expect the voice of God to be giving orders. I am accomplishment driven. I tend to show love through loyalty and effort. Maybe God just wants me to love, like I did at the beginning. I wasn't trying to accomplish anything. I just wanted to know God. I wanted to be His friend. Can I hear the brokenhearted voice of God as it cries: "you have lost the love you had at first." Revelation 2:4<br />
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I feel like things are being shifted around in my soul and I'm being purged of some things that are not suppose to be there. This is uncomfortable. Something like growing pains. Not a radical change like when God healed me of social anxiety but small, almost unnoticeable changes which are perhaps even more important because they come from deep within. The social anxiety was superficial. It bound me and kept me from freedom in Christ but I always recognized it as something foreign that was not part of my being. I realized that I needed to be set free. However, deep down there are disorders which are firmly rooted and seem to be a fundamental part of my identity. These need to be rooted out and purified. Our Father in Heaven continues to prune me and remove anything that is not of God but this is never a comfortable process. God is performing another spiritual root canal.<br />
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Monsignor Esseff says that I am Jesus. A meditation comes to mind. The baby Jesus has been born in my heart. The angels gather round and sing praises saying "Glory to God in the Highest!" Shepherds come and the wise men bringing gold and frankincense and myrrh. The source of this joyful celebration is within me. I will rein with Jesus. I will worship with Jesus. I will die with Jesus. I am Jesus.</div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-26615460696797647932017-01-01T10:48:00.000-08:002017-01-01T10:48:25.347-08:00Sarah's jubilee year of FAITH.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">starting my YOF just a few years late</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!!</span> </div>
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Since my entrance into the Church on Easter Vigil 2011, I have felt called to dedicate some liturgical years to a particular theme--kind of like a personal jubilee year inspired by the Holy Spirit. Since last year was the Jubilee Year of Mercy, it made sense to stick with Mercy, but in the past I've dedicated years to Joy and Love. This year I feel called unmistakably to a year of FAITH. This ties in nicely with my New Year's resolution.<br />
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God wants all of us to experience the Fruits of the Holy Spirit, no matter where we are or what the situation. I have said in the past, "No factory worker has zeal for his work." However, that assertion is not only condescending but also untrue. In the spiritual life as well, we can all have zeal and the Fruits of the Spirit no matter what the circumstances, but Woundedness and Sinfulness prevent us from fully receiving this grace. God will move us readily along the path of healing and conversion if we allow it. I must know the promises of God, believe them, and expect to receive what He has promised. No matter what.</div>
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I will no longer say, Because You have allowed me to end up in this situation, it is impossible that…<br />
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…I can have peace.<br />
…I can have joy.<br />
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I will no longer say, So long as I remain in this place, it is impossible that…<br />
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…I can have patience.<br />
…I can have joy.<br />
…I can be healed.<br />
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I will no longer be the petulant child of God, because nothing is impossible for Him.<br />
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I will be assured that God's hands are <i>not </i>tied by my weakness or even my doubts. God's hands are tied by my stubbornness and hardness of heart and my unwillingness to act in faith at all times, even when I don't feel like I believe.<br />
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By His grace…<br />
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…I will be joyful always.<br />
…I will pray continually.<br />
…I will give thanks in all circumstances.<br />
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Faith is as simple as saying, "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief."Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-27428843098201640792016-12-31T14:06:00.000-08:002016-12-31T14:06:34.111-08:007QT: Lessons learned in 2016<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<i>I pray that everyone has had a peaceful conclusion to the 2016 calendar year and that God blesses you and your families throughout the year to come. Happy New Year!</i><br />
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<i>Below I share some lessons learned throughout 2016.</i></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">--- 1 ---</span></b></div>
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In January of 2016, I took an assertiveness training at work during which I learned that assertiveness is not synonymous with aggression but rather consists of communicating in a way that is honest, direct and effective so that others know what I think (ideally) without feeling threatened or manipulated. I also learned the importance of 1.) apologizing when warranted and 2.) <i>not</i> apologizing when unwarranted. I've tended toward over-apologizing which, in addition to making me come across as weak and overly submissive, can make a genuine apology seem insincere. Since this training, I have noticed that communicating assertively is far less stressful than my usual non-assertiveness.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><b>--- 2 ---</b></span><br />
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Some of us have an unrealistically negative view of ourselves. Any
unrealistic view is unhealthy and a sort of pride that is disguised by
false humility. Assertiveness training also showed me the importance of nurturing our self-confidence by spending enough time in company and in situations where our positive qualities will be recognized and affirmed. This is different from fishing for compliments and patting ourselves on the backs, and also means that we need to <i>accept</i> genuine compliments when they come our way. Sometimes we discourage others from providing this support, because we reject their appreciation. Not only is this no help to me, but it can even be harmful to the self-esteem of the one offering the compliment.</div>
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order to support others in this way, we must notice and frequently
communicate our appreciation of their positive qualities in a way that
is genuine and not at all manipulative, in other words, in a way that is
disinterested. When we notice something good about another person or his/her behavior it is ok, even commendable, to tell them. Here is a tip: Don't give flowery but meaningless compliments like "You are every lovely word I could possibly think of." The more specific the better. For example, last month I gave an oral presentation and a friend said, "I like how you incorporated humor into your presentation by adding that joke." This was a compliment that I could understand and internalize.<br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">--- 4 ---</span></b></div>
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During 2016, I also made discernment visits to four different religious communities. (Wow, that's WAY more than I realized!) I learned more about the progression into religious life: After a period of discernment, if a woman is invited to apply for entrance into the community and is accepted, she will often move in with the community for a period called Aspirancy, which typically lasts on the order of months. During this time the woman has not officially entered the community and typically wears her street clothes. (At the end of each period, both her and the community decide if she will continue.) Assuming she continues, she will enter into Postulancy, during which she is given a frumpy outfit to wear and will conform to the lifestyle of the community for at least one year. Upon passing into the Novitiate, she will begin wearing the full habit and will begin formation in earnest. This typically lasts two years. For a woman to continue after Novitiate, she will make temporary vows with the community. She will live as a temporarily professed member of the community for several years before making her final, perpetual vows. The whole process generally takes about eight years, which provides plenty of time for further discernment. </div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">--- 5 ---</span></b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A happy stomach is a stomach filled with acid.</td></tr>
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In February, I was convinced that I had a stomach ulcer. During my work trip to St. Augustine, I started feeling horrible, burning pain after eating. Since I couldn't go to the doctor, I started taking proton pump inhibitors and the pain went away even after I finished the full course. Unfortunately, pain started coming back in the summer so I finally got checked out. The doctor discovered that I had low stomach acid. What I learned is that low stomach acid results in basically the same systems as high stomach acid/ulcer/GERD. Sometimes people treat the symptoms with antacids and actually make the problem worse because their issue is low stomach acid. After taking acid supplements for several weeks the problem seems to have worked itself out. <br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">--- 6 ---</span></b></div>
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It is possible to live a fairly normal life on a highly restricted diet!! Of course, no two persons' dietary restrictions are exactly alike<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">, b</span>ut mom has Type 2 Diabetes and has settled on a program that eliminates grains, soy and dairy and allows only one serving of fruit early in the day, among other things (e.g. no white potatoes). She also has to avoid pork and can only eat beef twice per week. And of course, she has been limited to non-glycemic sweeteners, primarily stevia, monk fruit, chicory root and erythritol. <span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">So far w</span>e've found the following fantastic (and often expensive) products, some with slight cheats (e.g. a bit of rice or potato starch). These are particularly helpful at times when we need to grab a quick meal or will be in a situation when others are snacking on products that mom can't have. I may revisit this list and add to it as we identify new lifesaver products.</div>
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<a href="http://sodeliciousdairyfree.com/products/coconut-milk-frozen-desserts/no-sugar-added-vanilla-bean"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">SO Delicious No Sugar Added Coconut Milk <span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Ice Cream</span></span></span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://www.simplemills.com/products/fine-ground-sea-salt-almond-flour-crackers">Simple Mills Almond Flour Crackers</a> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://paleowrap.com/">Julian Bakery Paleo Wraps (coconut)</a> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://www.ewg.org/foodscores/products/045296191049-LisanattiFoodsAlmondJalapenoJackStyleTheGoodHealthCheeseAlternative">Lisanatti Foods Almond Jalapeno Jack <span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Vegan Cheese</span></a>--minor cheat, contains milk protein</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://followyourheart.com/products/smoked-gouda/">Follow Your H<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">eart Smoked Gouda S<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">tyle</span></span></a> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://www.terrachips.com/chips/exotic_vegetables/original-taro-chips"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Terra Taro Chips</span></a></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://thechiaco.com/au/product/chia-pod-vanilla-bean/">The Chia Co <span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Vanill<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">a Bean Chia Pod</span></span></a></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://sodeliciousdairyfree.com/products/cultured-coconut-milk">S<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">O Delicious Coconut "Yogurt"</span></a></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://www.wellshirefarms.com/allergy-free-foods-database/Sugar-Free-PALEO-Turkey-Bacon-01116"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Wellshire Farms Sugar Free Paleo Turkey Bacon</span></a></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://www.applegate.com/products/natural-smoked-turkey-breast">A<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">pplegate Natural Smoked Turkey Breast</span></a> (and other su<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">gar <span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">free deli meats)</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://www.applegate.com/products/the-great-organic-turkey-hot-dog">Applegate The Great Organic Turkey Hot Dog</a> </span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://epicbar.com/bites-detail/14">EPIC Chicken Bites (jerky)</a> </span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://polarseltzer.com/">Polar S</a><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://polarseltzer.com/">e</a><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://polarseltzer.com/">ltzer</a> (consistently free of sweeteners)</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://dangfoods.wpengine.com/our-products/onion-chips/">Dang Foods Onion Chips</a></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.coconutsecret.com/aminos2.html">Coconut Secret Raw Coconut Aminos</a> (soy <span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">sauce substitute)</span> </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://eatingatjoes.com/2016/04/29/trader-joes-parsnip-chips/">Trader Joe's Parsnip Chips</a> </span></span></span><a href="http://lilyssweets.com/baking-chips/"><br /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://lilyssweets.com/baking-chips/">Lilly's Dark Chocolate Stevia Sweetened Ba<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">ki<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">ng Chips</span></span></a></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSqSSZVWZJEsGYcLQPmAv-zIMiNgTDkXnyg_fBAxkuvR6WWfeSKYntx-MMkujh-z4KAGez50VVxBJ4qD9jtSEj8Xdyeujy52Y0GxNE4X7Ak0fy4dSmhGFXjYumBVYpom4UMARuT9LhbQ/s1600/brussels_sprouts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSqSSZVWZJEsGYcLQPmAv-zIMiNgTDkXnyg_fBAxkuvR6WWfeSKYntx-MMkujh-z4KAGez50VVxBJ4qD9jtSEj8Xdyeujy52Y0GxNE4X7Ak0fy4dSmhGFXjYumBVYpom4UMARuT9LhbQ/s320/brussels_sprouts.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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We've also found lots of fantastic recipes, many of which we used for our yuppified "traditional" Thanksgiving dinner, sometimes with slight modifications. We also decided to <a href="http://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-brine-a-turkey-225751">brine the turkey</a>, which did make it more juicy.</div>
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<a href="https://thatpaleocouple.com/2012/12/12/orange-cranberry-bread/">Coconut Flour Orange Cranberry Bread</a> -- sub coconut oil for ghee and stevia for honey</div>
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<a href="http://practical-stewardship.com/2013/04/30/almond-flour-blueberry-muffins-egg-free-dairy-free-gluten-free/">Almond Flour Blueberry Muffins</a> -- sub stevia for honey</div>
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<a href="http://glutenfreehomemaker.com/paleo-pumpkin-muffins/">Paleo Pumpkin Muffins</a> -- mixed the pecans into batter, adjusted ingredient ratios, sub stevia for honey</div>
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<a href="http://www.vegetariantimes.com/recipe/almond-feta-cheese-with-herb-oil">Almond Feta Cheese</a> -- sans herb oil</div>
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<a href="http://allrecipes.com/recipe/165309/kalamata-olive-tapenade/">Kalamata Olive Tapenade</a> </div>
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<a href="http://detoxinista.com/2012/11/clean-green-bean-casserole-vegan-paleo/">Vegan Paleo Green Bean Casserole</a> -- sans nutritional yeast</div>
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<a href="http://againstallgrain.com/2013/03/20/corned-beef-and-cabbage-with-parsnip-turnip-puree/">Parsnip Turnip Puree</a> -- sub olive oil for ghee</div>
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<a href="https://www.campbells.com/kitchen/recipes/roasted-brussels-sprouts-squash-with-cranberries-pine-nuts/">Roasted Brussels Sprouts and Squash</a> -- with fruit juice sweetened cranberries, sub olive oil for butter and tapioca flour (in half amount) for all-purpose flour</div>
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<a href="http://www.mommypotamus.com/homestyle-stuffing-gaps-paleo-primal/">Grain Free Homestyle Stuffing</a> -- with raisins</div>
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<a href="http://itdoesnttastelikechicken.com/2015/02/18/vegan-spinach-artichoke-dip/">Vegan Spinach Artichoke Dip</a> -- see cheese recipe below</div>
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<a href="http://itdoesnttastelikechicken.com/2015/01/23/melty-stretchy-gooey-vegan-mozarella/">Melty Stretchy Vegan Mozzarella</a> --sans nutritional yeast, sub blanched almonds for cashews</div>
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<a href="http://paleomagazine.com/paleo-apple-pie/">Paleo Apple Pie with Grain Free Crust</a> -- sub stevia for honey, either pre-cook filling or bake for much longer than stated in recipe</div>
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<a href="http://livinghealthywithchocolate.com/desserts/paleo-apple-pie-recipe-5305/">Apple Pie Filling and Streusel Topping</a> -- next time I'll try this filling with the above crust</div>
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<a href="http://www.sugarfreemom.com/recipes/dairy-free-pumpkin-pie-mousse/">Dairy Free Pumpkin Pie Mousse</a> -- with WAY less stevia than called for in recipe</div>
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<a href="http://www.sugarfreemom.com/recipes/sugar-free-chocolate-peanut-butter-easter-eggs-dairy-free/">Sugar Free Chocolate Nut Butter Candies</a> -- with almond instead of peanut butter</div>
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<a href="http://www.deliciousobsessions.com/2013/07/lemon-lime-coconut-candy-recipe-gluten-grain-dairy-and-sugar-free/">Lemon Coconut Candy</a> -- subbed more lemon in place of lime, serve at room temperature</div>
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We've also made three sauces for our zucchini and squash noodles, which we froze in large ice cube trays.</div>
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<a href="http://allrecipes.com/recipe/200283/spinach-basil-pesto/?src=VD_Summary">Spinach Basil Pesto</a> -- sans Parmesan cheese </div>
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<a href="http://janeshealthykitchen.com/instant-red-sauce/">Nightshade Free Red Sauce</a> -- sans nutritional yeast, sweetened with tiny amount of stevia</div>
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<a href="http://janeshealthykitchen.com/instant-red-sauce/">Paleo No Peanut Sauce</a> -- sweetened with tiny amount of stevia</div>
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And for a New Year's Eve snack I just made:</div>
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<a href="http://gutsybynature.com/2014/06/01/onion-dip-dairy-free-option/">Dairy Free French Onion Dip</a> -- sans bacon, sub dill for rosemary, see vegan mayonnaise recipe below<br />
<a href="http://janeshealthykitchen.com/homemade-mayo-egg-free/">Homemade Vegan Mayonnaise</a> -- sans mustard and sweetened with two drops of stevia<br />
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For more Quick Takes, visit <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/">This Ain't the Lyceum!</a></div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-77621075533807912642016-11-11T11:09:00.000-08:002016-11-11T18:05:01.753-08:007QT: Learning Scripture Through Song<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<i>In which I make some more pilgrimages, do some other Catholic things and finally start learning some Bible verses. Woot!</i></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">--- 1 ---</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Our Lady of La Leche y Buen Parto (Milk and Happy Delivery)</span></div>
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As mentioned in a previous post, I went to Florida for another work trip in February. This time we met in St. Augustine. I was super excited to find out that this is supposedly America's first parish and the site where the Spaniards landed and celebrated the first Mass. On this site, called Nombre de Dios, is also the Shrine of Our Lady of La Leche which houses a statue depicting Mary breast feeding the baby Jesus. A coworker visited the shrine with me and I prayed for some friends who are trying to conceive. Later before my flight I took a walk back to visit the museum where I met a man from Vermont (small world!) who told me all about Pedro Menéndez de Avilés, the founder of St. Augustine, and showed me the man's coffin which, admittedly, looked pretty darn cool.<br />
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I arrived in St. Augustine on Tuesday night just before Ash Wednesday so I went to Mass at the Cathedral Basilica which was easily within walking distance. The next morning I went to Mass for the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes and remembered to pass through the Holy Door for the Jubilee Year of Mercy. As usual, I stayed in the pew to pray for a while before leaving. An older gentleman stopped on his way out to ask if he could pray for my intention. Explaining that he is a Carmelite he took out what was the largest brown scapular I've ever seen and had me hold one end in my lap while he held the other end against the back of my shoulder. Then he prayed a wonderfully beautiful prayer and we chatted for a while. I think he said his name is Richard and that he lives on a horse farm. He told me that all of the bones in his ankle are shattered and that doctors tried to put it back together with screws but they pulled out and so the doctor wants to amputate--so pray for Richard's ankle! Also pray for the young street musician named Brandon who spent a coffee break telling me his story.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><b>--- 2 ---</b></span><br />
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In May, mom and I went with Carl and Jeremy to the National Catholic Prayer Breakfast in DC. We also attended the Vigil Mass the evening before, celebrated by Cardinal Sarah (nice name!) from Guinea. Mom, who is not Catholic, decided to come through the communion line with arms crossed to receive a blessing from the Cardinal. When she got to the front, the Cardinal stood holding the Eucharist and looking confused until the man holding the Communion-plate whispered into his ear and then he gave her a blessing. I guess it's not a universal sign! But she did finally get the blessing and the next day there was a book singing for God or Nothing and I got to speak with the Cardinal. Actually I just said "Thank you, I'll pray for you!" and he said, "Yes, please pray for me." Still, I was excited.</div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">--- 3 ---</span></b></div>
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I showed some of the Catholic wonders of Santa Fe, NM in a different post entitled <a href="http://greatjesusexperiment.blogspot.com/2014/11/7-qt-santa-fe-pilgrimage.html">7QT: A Santa Fe Pilgrimage</a>, but managed to see some new things during a work trip this summer. This time I visited what is suppose to be the oldest church in the country, San Miguel. Unfortunately I did not get to attend a Gregorian Chant Mass with Schola which would have been AWESOME! Instead I attended Church at the Basilica which, I discovered, has Stations of the Cross by Gib Singleton, the man who designed the corpus for St. John Paul II's crosier.<br />
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At the end of August, mom and I went with Carl to see a DC Padres game at the Bowie Baysox Stadium. The Padres is a team of priests and seminarians that plays several games each summer against local high schools. The <a href="http://ssvmusa.org/">Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matara</a>, our local blue nuns, were there to cheer them on. It was a good time even though mom and I were both on special diets--no hot dogs for us!</div>
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Mom and I have been memorizing scripture verses through songs and we have three sources that have been so unbelievably helpful that I'll post one from each for the last three Quick Takes. The first is <a href="http://www.seedsfamilyworship.com/">Seeds Family Worship</a>, a band that has a bunch of videos with words on Youtube and has several albums that can be purchased from their website.<br />
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"Cast your cares on the Lord, and He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall." Psalm 55:22<br />
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The second is a band called <a href="http://www.therizers.com/">The Rizers</a> (short for Memorizers) that also has a bunch of videos on Youtube and a few albums that can be purchased on their website.<br />
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"Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. Be joyful always and pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:15-18</div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7869186140654078000" name="qt3"></a><b>--- 7 ---</b></span></div>
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Shannon Linville also has a bunch of videos on Youtube. Her style is targeted toward smaller children, but it's still a great way to learn scripture.</div>
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"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1 </div>
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For more Quick Takes, visit <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/">This Ain't the Lyceum!</a></div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-13787951332327747782016-07-10T13:20:00.000-07:002016-07-10T13:20:46.383-07:00Drinking condemnation.<div style="text-align: justify;">
Another meandering walk through my amateur understanding of theology…</div>
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I was listening to a talk by Mother Margaret Mary, the founder of the Children of Mary community in Ohio (they have a channel on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLkrQwSxu5r5b4gzj-pSCHQ">Youtube</a>), and she was talking about the way in which many Catholics understand (or rather don't) what we call the True Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. (I have no idea if I've posted the right video, but that's ok because everything Mother Margaret Mary says is AWESOME.) She was at a church for a Eucharistic Holy Hour and afterward saw the two young altar servers. She said something like, "isn't that wonderful to be able to serve Jesus when he's really present in the Eucharist?" They agreed. Then she asked what that means to them, that he's really present. "Is he really there, like your parents who were there? Or is he really there in spirit? Or is it a symbol of him really being there?" And they said "Ummm… I guess it's a symbol." GAH!!! That's not at all what the Real Presence of Christ means. Quite literally, it means that he's REALLY there.</div>
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Catholics believe that during the Mass when the priest speaks the words that Jesus spoke at the Last Supper (this is my body, this is my blood) the wafers and wine literally become his body and blood even though they still look, smell, feel and taste like wafers and wine--thank God for that because it would be much harder for me to drink from a cup of what looks, smells and tastes like blood! Some super geniuses have explained how such a change, referred to as transubstantiation, could come about (e.g. St. Thomas Aquinas). But it's not like drinking blood and eating flesh in a cannibalistic way. The whole Jesus is present in any fragment of wafer or drop of wine. I like to think of it as the mini-Jesus, who gets mini-er the smaller the drop of wine becomes. Once the presence of the consecrated bread/wine is gone (for example, I've digested it or it has been petrified or burned into ashes or whatever) then the mini-Jesus is also gone. Where does he go? Same place he was before, I guess, he's just no longer physically present in me. I don't know, that's why it's called a mystery. But what is he doing while he's inside of me? (Is he singing songs like Jonah?) What does it matter that he is physically present within me?</div>
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When I'm in a state of grace and receive Holy Communion, Jesus comes into my body in a special way for the period of time during which my body digests the host. Jesus himself said that his body is true food and his blood is true drink. It has a nourishing effect. The scripture also says that he will make his enemies his footstool. While he's in there he starts making whatever enemies he finds into his footstool, conquering them one by one. He also heals any wounds he finds. Essentially, he gradually makes us holy and transforms us into himself (you really are what you eat!). But his power to do this depends on my openness to his grace and belief in his power to do so. If I am weak in faith the effect will be small, not because Jesus is weak but because I have in a sense not given him permission to use his full strength. And God does not force himself on anyone.</div>
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Let's say I have been trying to give up some venial sin, like complaining about the weather. If I start receiving Holy Communion every day, Jesus will continue his healing work and make it easier over time for me to stop doing that. Whatever inside of me makes me want to complain will become weaker and weaker as Jesus makes his enemy his footstool. However, each time I complain I am in some sense choosing the enemy over Jesus. If the sin is venial, and so I have not made a conscious decision for the enemy or a conscious decision to offend God, then Jesus will take away the sin the next time I attend Mass. Even so, it is beneficial for me to take advantage of the Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation which will strengthen me even further to avoid this sin in the future and will provide extra healing for the negative effects of that sin. Why not fight with every weapon available?</div>
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However, when I commit a mortal sin, I am no longer in a state of grace. Then I have allowed death and darkness to enter in and take the place of the light and life that are the presence of the Holy Trinity. In a sense I have given the enemy permission to do his destructive work inside of me. It's not the same as possession, in which I've literally given a spirit permission to take over my will. But I've taken the devil's medicine which can only harm my soul. If I committed the act willingly and knowing that the Church believes it to be a sin then I have chosen the enemy over God regardless of what excuses I make to rationalize my action. It doesn't matter if I think that God shouldn't be offended what I've done, who knows the mind of God? Sin often looks good to us. (Even Satan can appear as an angel of light!) I have no choice but to trust the Gospels and the Church.</div>
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After committing a mortal sin, I must not receive communion! Not only would it be an offense against God but I have, in a sense, revoked the permission I gave for Jesus to act within me so receiving communion can no longer do me any good. And so, in a way, Jesus is left powerless against the enemies within me--not because he is powerless, but because of the weakness of my faith. ("Jesus could not do any miracles there. […] He was amazed at their lack of faith." Mark 6:5-6) Instead of healing and defending me, he is sent back to the agony in the garden where he sees that his precious gift of self has been scorned and rejected. My unworthy communion is Judas' kiss for Jesus. Thus the effect of communion on my being is actually the opposite of what it was before and, as St. Paul said to the Ephesians, "You drink condemnation on yourselves. This is why so many of you are dying." It is sin and the rejection of God that brought death into the world in the first place.</div>
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<i>If we have died with him, we shall also live with him;</i><br />
<i>if we persevere, we shall also reign with him.</i><br />
<i>But if we deny him, he will deny us.</i><br />
<i>If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful,</i><br />
<i>for he cannot deny himself.</i><br />
<i>2 Timothy 2:11-13</i><br />
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Through mortal sin, I break my covenant with God. A covenant is a binding agreement. Giving my life to Jesus is binding. But when I have broken this covenant it is no longer binding, and no amount of well wishing will change that. God allows there to be consequences to our actions. Just as I originally had to go to the Church for Baptism in order to pass from death to life, I now have to return to the Church for the Sacrament of Reconciliation to reinstate my Baptismal covenant and to enter again from death to life. (Although it's not theologically sound, it can be helpful to think of it as though I've unbaptized myself.) Until I have gone to the Church for this Reconciliation I'm still in the realm of death and not in a state of grace. Therefore, it is foolish for me to receive Holy Communion, which will only do greater harm.</div>
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If something keeps me from returning to the state of grace (for example, if I am in a second marriage and have not yet found a way to rectify the situation), then I should remind myself that God's mercy is infinite and have hope that he will allow me to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. However, I should NOT presume God's mercy and act as though I am in a state of grace when I know that I am not. In this case, the Church recommends that I make a spiritual communion. Many Saints have indicated that a spiritual communion can be as efficacious as a physical communion when one has the proper interior disposition.</div>
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Here is a great article by a woman who is remarried and handling the situation in the best way she can:</div>
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<a href="http://www.spectator.co.uk/2014/10/faith-sin-and-divorce/">http://www.spectator.co.uk/2014/10/faith-sin-and-divorce/</a></div>
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Even outside of the state of grace, I can adore Jesus in the Eucharist. Spending time in Eucharistic Adoration is beneficial for everyone, even the unbaptized. I know because I used to make a Eucharistic Holy Hour every morning during RCIA. I could feel a calm and a peace within the adoration chapel that I was sure came from the physical presence of Jesus. If simply touching his garment could heal a lifelong affliction, then what miracles of grace will come through sitting in his presence?<br />
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During my year of preparation for Baptism, I felt encouraged that if I were to die before my official entry into the Church then God would grant me the grace of Baptism by Desire. The authority of the Church maintains that this mercy is extended to those who die as catechumens, with a clear intent of being Baptized. Certainly the same goes for those who are killed for the faith during preparation for Baptism, as was the case with Saints Felicity and Perpetua who received the Baptism by Blood. I have great hope that a person who is not in a state of grace but who is obeying the teachings of the Church when it comes to the Holy Eucharist (i.e. not receiving) and who desires to return to full communion with the Church would receive an abundance of God's mercy if he/she died before absolution could be obtained through the Sacrament of Reconciliation.</div>
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I have great respect for those who, although not currently in a state of grace, maintain respect for the authority of the Church and the True Presence of Christ in the Eucharist while hoping in God's mercy. May we one day all be in perfect communion!</div>
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Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-76313421372458186502016-06-05T08:04:00.000-07:002016-06-05T08:04:44.663-07:00Holy Week in Boston (aka Nazareth).<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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One of my friends at work recommended that I visit a brand new community called <a href="http://www.dmnazareth.org/">Daughters of Mary of Nazareth</a> as my next stop along the path of discernment. This community is founded by Mother Olga of the Sacred Heart, who grew up in Iraq as a member of the Assyrian Church of the East. She originally founded a community in that church before converting to Catholicism. Recently, Cardinal O'Malley of Boston approached her about starting a new community for women. The primary patron of the community is Blessed Charles de Foucauld who founded his own community (posthumously) called the Little Brothers (and Sisters) of Jesus. He lived an extremely ascetical life as a hermit and spent several years in Nazareth. Inspired by his charisms of spiritual brotherhood (welcoming all with an open door policy) and spiritual childhood (depending entirely on God in all things), the Daughters live what they refer to as the Nazarean spirituality of the Holy Family.</div>
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I spoke with Mother Olga in January and she recommended that she and I spend a period of time in prayer, discerning whether or not God is calling me to visit the community, and then regroup to plan my visit. I immediately prayed a St. Therese novena (nine days of prayer) and followed it by a novena to Our Lady of La Leche. The latter was inspired by a work trip to St. Augustine, FL where the Spanish first landed and said Mass and where the first Marian Shrine was established in the US. This was the Shrine of Our Lady of La Leche, or Our Lady of the Milk, who is depicted breast feeding the infant Jesus. Hopefully I will post more about that trip later. Anyway, it turns out Mother Olga has a special connection with Our Lady of La Leche and was amazed that God had brought me there. We talked on the phone for a while and she recommended that I visit during Holy Week.</div>
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I arrived in Boston on Tuesday. The Daughters and Mother Olga picked me up in their 15 passenger van on the way to the Chrism Mass at the cathedral. This is the Mass where all of the oils to be used for the year (oil of catechumens for Baptism, oil of the sick, and oil of chrism primarily for confirmation) are blessed by the bishop and dispersed to all of the parishes and shrines in the diocese. I entered right into the action when, midway through Mass, the seminarians brought hundreds of bottles of blessed oil from the sanctuary down into the basement to be divided into prelabeled bags for each location. I spent about half an hour wrapping the glass bottles in paper while others bagged and then the hordes came down to receive them.</div>
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The Daughters have new digs in Quincy, MA where a convent was available on the grounds of a local parish. The convent is modest but beautiful with plenty of room for the community to grow. The Sisters took very good care of me and there was an intense family atmosphere. Their charism definitely shines through. On Wednesday we hosted some local pregnant ladies and new moms with their babies from a respite house (like the Sacred Heart Convent of the Sisters of Life). We had Mass and sang songs and ate dinner and eventually called it a night.</div>
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Thursday night we went into Boston for the Maundy Thursday Mass at the cathedral followed by night prayer and adoration until midnight when the Blessed Sacrament is taken to a hidden location until Easter vigil. The Missionaries of Charity were there when we arrived and I recognized Sister Noelita who was recently at Gift of Hope in Baltimore! She was amazed to see me with this religious community and promised to pray for me. After the service I met a man with the Knights of the Holy Sepulcher who lives in Vermont and has family in my hometown! What a small world.</div>
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Good Friday was a rainy day, but we joined a group making a Seven Churches walk while carrying a large wooden cross. This takes after the tradition of visiting the Seven Pilgrim Churches in Rome throughout the course of one day. Mother Olga carried the cross between two of the churches, which was an amazing feat because of her tiny stature. When asked what prayer intention she was carrying it for she said, "for the conversion of ISIS."</div>
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On Friday night, we went back to the cathedral for the Veneration of the Cross, which is the traditional Good Friday service. Instead of receiving Holy Communion, everyone comes forward to kiss a wooden cross. The one used at the Archdiocese of Boston contains a relic of the true cross of Jesus. Supposedly, St. Helen (the mother of Constantine) when back to the site of the crucifixion and was able to find the remnants of the cross that had been used. Fragments of the cross are dispersed in various locations around the world, with several in the Archdioceses of Baltimore and Washington. The Sisters were very excited because I had told them that this Easter Vigil is the 5 year anniversary of my Baptism. They pointed out that the gift for 5 year anniversaries is suppose to be wood and one of the Sisters suggested that this opportunity to venerate the wood from the true cross was my gift from Jesus. And who knows, maybe she was right! Because unbeknownst to us, the photographer for the archdiocese had taken the perfect picture which Mother Olga happened to notice a couple days later on the archdiocesan website.</div>
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We spent a lot of Saturday preparing for Easter, buying Easter lilies and decorating the convent and even dying Easter eggs. You know, the practical stuff. Later that day we picked up some ladies from the pregnancy home and brought them to the Easter Vigil Mass at the Sisters' parish. The next day we went to the Easter Sunday Mass at the same parish and then visited two nursing homes. The priests didn't have time to visit the nursing homes and say Mass so we provided Communion services during which the Sisters and I did the readings and sang hymns and Mother Olga distributed Communion. The residents were so grateful to have us there that some of them even started crying. It was such a wonderful way to start Easter and I'm glad that Mother Olga let me be so involved, treating me just like the other Sisters. I think I really got a taste of the community life.</div>
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While I was there Mother Olga loaned me a small booklet called Spiritual Childhood by Little Sister Magdeleine of Jesus. I wrote down my favorite quotes on the qualities of Spiritual Childhood:</div>
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"Trust like that of a child for its father or mother, and surrender into God's hands--trust and surrender of a tiny child who, when his father pretends he's about to throw him off a terrible cliff, bursts out laughing when he sees the cliff beneath him, because he knows he's safe in his father's arms."</div>
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I can't say that I approve of fathers pretending to throw their children off of cliffs… but I get her meaning.</div>
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"He's safe because he loves his father, and he's sure that his father loves him. He knows for sure that his father will never let go when he holds him out over the void, or heaves him up over his head. He is sure that nothing bad can come to him from his father."</div>
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"The immense dreams and desires of an undaunted and daring spirit, natural fruit of the child's trust that his father loves him and will never abandon him."</div>
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"They will cross the most tightly closed borders without threatening anyone--no more than a little child threatens grown ups, because they are not afraid of his influence, nor his critical intellect, nor his harsh judgements; and the child itself is so small it could not possibly consider itself of any consequence."</div>
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I had a fantastic week with this community but left with no clearer understanding of where or to what I might be called. My spiritual director suggested that I take a break from discernment because the past month had been particularly difficult with a lingering upper respiratory infection and an unexplained bout of hives that only went away with steroids. And so, thanks be to God, I took a couple of months to relax before starting up round two.</div>
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P.S. I should note that I also got to see the very first Dunkin' Donuts, right there in the Sisters' hometown!!</div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-29061063105785118482016-05-05T17:41:00.002-07:002016-05-05T17:41:41.466-07:00Semi-contemplative Snowzilla.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When I first started learning about religious communities I thought they only came in two flavors: active or contemplative. The contemplative communities are fully cloistered and often only leave their enclosure in times of emergency (e.g. for medical treatment or the death of a parent). Active communities often spend enough time in outside ministries that they have full time jobs (e.g. teaching or nursing). I didn't really feel called to either of these lifestyles. Later I learned about active-contemplative combo communities like the Sisters of Life.</div>
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At some point during my search, I remembered a friend telling me about a revival of the hermetic life. In other words, one could become a diocesan hermit. This is something like a cloistered "community" of one. Although I didn't necessarily feel called to this life either, I was curious to know more. During my search, I came across a new religious community called <a href="http://www.childrenofmary.net/">Children of Mary</a>, founded by a woman who was originally discerning a vocation to the hermetic life. She had already unofficially lived the life of a hermit for about ten years and came to a point that she desired to make official vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. She received the permission of her Bishop to write up a rule of life and move toward an eventual profession. However, not long afterward the Bishop contacted her and asked if she would consider founding a new religious community, accepting other women to live the contemplative life with her too. And so the Children of Mary came to be.</div>
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This is a lovely semi-contemplative community in Ohio that spends most of their time in prayer and manual labor, in other words a largely monastic lifestyle, and a small amount of time in active ministries. I was highly impressed when I read about the Sisters' homeless ministry. When asked to volunteer at a local soup kitchen they agreed only on the condition that they could set up a temporary chapel for Eucharistic Adoration every time they visit. I remembered how our homeless winter relief shelter always seemed to be fighting an inevitable fall from spiritual ministry into mere social work. The Children of Mary Sisters have a fabulous solution to that problem. Their main focus is making Jesus known, loved and adored in the Blessed Sacrament.</div>
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A couple of months after visiting the Sisters of Life, I contacted the foundress of the Children of Mary and asked if I could meet the community. The timing was providential, as five of the Sisters were on their way to the March for Life in DC. I set up to meet the Sisters for Mass and adoration at a church in Bethesda, have some breakfast and then take the Metro into the city with them for the March.</div>
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The March was on Friday this year so I took the day off and stayed with mom in Alexandria on Thursday night so that I could Metro to Bethesda the next morning. We knew that a monster storm was expected to start on Friday afternoon and I wanted to stay with mom over the weekend. I got to the church before the Sisters and stayed in my pew when they arrived because I didn't want to distract them from their prayers in preparation for the Mass. Since I was the only one to hang around after Mass, they knew that I must be Sarah and one of the Sisters came over to introduce herself and tell me the plan. We would stay in the church for a little over an hour and then move to the school cafeteria to eat our breakfasts.</div>
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On the way to the cafeteria I was introduced to each Sister, with a hug! The Sisters were quiet during breakfast, I think they're used to eating in silence. Overall I would describe the Sisters as peaceful and radiant in a way that drew people like moths to flame! So many people of all types came over to talk with the Sisters. On the Metro they each ended up in conversation with a brand new friend and they passed out prayer cards and DVDs wherever we went. I ended up spending about half of the day with the Sisters, leaving the March early because the snow had started and was falling fast. I hugged each of the Sisters and lamented the fact that I had to leave so soon, but I think it was the right decision. I managed to get back to mom's apartment and was snowed in there until Tuesday!</div>
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I've heard a lot of religious vocation stories of love at first sight, but I've also heard stories of women visiting many communities before settling on the right one. In the beginning I think searching for a religious community is like looking for a husband. In most cases, you set up your first date based on a vague feeling of attraction and generally decide whether or not to make a second date based on a slightly less vague feeling of attraction. Of course, all of this searching takes place in the midst of intense prayer and is not something that can be reasoned out completely.</div>
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I had some really nice casual conversations with a few of the Sisters and got a better idea of their daily life. After visiting the Sisters of Life I had wondered if I might be called to a more contemplative lifestyle, e.g. semi-contemplative. But after meeting the Children of Mary I just wasn't sure. Again I didn't feel any certainty that "Yes! This is the one!" so I decided to keep searching. In the meantime, it has been a huge blessing to spend time with these ladies.</div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-19256345556776480242016-05-01T15:34:00.000-07:002016-05-01T15:34:51.742-07:00Come and see.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So about one year ago on a silent retreat I was spending a lot of time in prayer and had a moment when I was sure that God was calling me to... well... something. And it seemed to me that this something might be a radically different way of life--perhaps entering a religious community.</div>
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During the next couple of months I spent a lot of time researching the religious life and learned a lot more than I knew before, which was almost nothing, about the wide variety of religious communities out there. I contacted the first community that really grabbed my attention, the <a href="http://hermitbrother.blogspot.com/2011/08/sisters-of-life.html">Sisters of Life</a>, and the vocations director invited me to their Come-and-See retreat, named after John 1:39. (The Sisters of Life is a community founded to "protect and enhance the sacredness of human life.") During the next four months I prepared for the retreat by working on various self improvements and trying not to worry too much. My main concern was that I had been asked to bring work out clothing because we would be playing ultimate frisbee. I haven't played a team sport in over ten years and continually imagined my glasses being smashed off of my face on day one of the three day retreat.</div>
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The trip up to the retreat house in Connecticut went smoothly until the last 10 miles when my Google Maps directions became unintelligible and I had to call mom to help me with her fancy Smart Phone technology. In the end, I actually figured it out on my own using the road atlas (woot!). As I had hoped, I arrived in time for Evening Prayer before dinner. And the whole weekend was a blast! Thanks be to God, there was an alternative to ultimate frisbee for us less active types. We walked to the cemetery to pray for the Souls in Purgatory, since we were still within the All Souls Day octave.</div>
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I knew that I would be one of the oldest retreatants since most women's religious communities in the US are looking primarily for women who recently finished college and it has been MORE THAN TEN YEARS since I received my bachelor's degree. But there were a few other oldies but goodies there for the weekend and the organizers made sure that I met the two aerospace-minded Sisters of Life; one had worked at NASA and the other at Harvard's Center for Astrophysics.</div>
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Throughout the weekend the Sisters introduced us to some of their apostolates. We visited Sacred Heart convent in New York City which is their holy respite for pregnant women and new mothers in need of support. We also prayed the rosary outside of a local abortion clinic and heard the testimony of a woman who came to the Sisters looking for inner healing after her abortion. One of the highlights of the weekend was a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral to visit the tomb of Cardinal O'Connor, the deceased founder of the Sisters of Life. I was extra excited, because when mom and I visited about a year ago the church was covered with scaffolding and we weren't able to go to the crypt. This time we spent about twenty minutes praying down in the crypt which also contains the tombs of <a href="http://www.ewtn.com/library/MARY/TOUSSAIN.htm">Pierre Toussaint</a>; Cardinal Cooke, the founder of Courage International; and Archbishop Fulton Sheen!</div>
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The Sisters exuded a childlike bliss and seemed to have truly found their place in life. The atmosphere was permeated with great joy and I lingered much longer than I needed to after finishing lunch on the last day because I didn't want to leave. The drive home took about two hours longer than it should have because I kept getting lost in thought about the weekend and missing my exits. At one point I pulled off at a rest stop, still marveling at the joy I saw in the Sisters. As I entered the bathroom, I heard a country music song playing: "I want whatever she's got!" Mercifully taken out of the context of the rest of the song, that lyric pretty much summed up my feelings about the weekend--these Sisters have found the pearl of great price!</div>
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Over the next few weeks I pondered something that Blessed Mother Teresa (soon to be St. Teresa of Kolkata!) had said: we must love all religious communities but fall in love with our own. While not every love is a love at first sight, the retreat did not leave me with a sense of clarity that this community is absolutely the one for me. So after this first encounter, which was a wonderful start to my search, I decided to keep seeking.</div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-87253462116229966362015-10-11T11:56:00.000-07:002015-10-11T11:56:05.936-07:00Compunction: the gift of tears.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Stemming originally from bitter repentance, weeping develops into tears of rapture with Divine love. And this is a sign that our prayer is heard and through its action we are led into new imperishable life. </i>(Coniaris, “Philokalia: Bible of Orthodox Spirituality”, 175).</div>
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We know that the English language is very limited in some ways. Think, for example, of the word love. In Christianity, one of these over used words is gift. Sometimes we use the word gift to refer only to the seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit mentioned in Isaiah 11:2-3. Other times we use the word gift to refer to the charisms discussed by St. Paul in his letters (e.g. the gifts of tongues, interpretation of tongues, prophecy, healing and discernment of spirits). And often we use the word gift for the various blessings that the Lord has given us.</div>
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At Catholic Charismatic Renewal events, one often hears of the gift of tears. I suspect that this term is borrowed from the Pentecostal tradition, perhaps without enough scrutiny. Charismatic Christians will often include the gift of tears in the list of possible charisms, although this term won't be found in Scripture. However, we know that the Holy Spirit gives various charisms to various people and that St. Paul's list of charisms is not complete. (Consider, for example, Padre Pio's supposed gift of bilocation.) The Holy Spirit is infinitely creative. So the fact that I can't find a certain charism in Scripture doesn't necessarily mean that it's bogus. But St. Paul does say that the charisms are given for the building up and the edification of the Church (Ephesians 4:12, 1 Corinthians 14:5), which means they can be used in service of the rest of the community. I haven't been able to think of a way that my tears, which may be useful for my own edification, can be used to support the rest of the community.</div>
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However, if one were to say that the Holy Spirit gives to some individuals the special grace of healing tears (or better yet healing through tears) then I would say there is a basis for this gift in both Scripture and Tradition. We need only to look to the woman who bathed Jesus' feet with her tears to better understand this grace, which has traditionally been referred to as tears of compunction. (Luke 7:36-38, 44-47). (A far better discussion of this topic is available <a href="http://pittsburghoratory.blogspot.com/2012/05/joyful-sorrow-compunction-and-gift-of.html">HERE</a>. In fact, please please please read it. I found it after writing most of this post and it's AWESOME!)</div>
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One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee’s house, and took his place at table. And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment. […] Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house, you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.”</blockquote>
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I have been to charismatic events with many stoic people (myself included), emotion bottlers who don't know how to experience emotions in a healthy way. Maybe as a small child someone was repeatedly told "if you don't stop crying you're going to get a spanking" (I don't remember that happening to me…) and learned at a very young age that negative emotions are something to be ashamed of and to hide and ignore. Whatever the reason, many of us while growing up in this culture underwent a certain hardening of the heart. This can cause all kinds of problems including a lack of compassion for others who are suffering. Even many secular psychologists say that those bottled up emotions are not gone, but rather still present in the bottle and waiting for something to open that bottle so that they can be dealt with. Until those emotions are handled in a healthy way the person may suffer from anxiety and other emotional problems. When finally addressing the situation very intense emotions are felt and, although the process can be painful, it brings inner healing. At charismatic renewal events the Holy Spirit often opens this bottle and begins the process of softening the heart.</div>
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It's certainly possible to have such an experience of softening in silence and solitude. But for whatever reason, for many of the stoics I know, the initial trigger was the charismatic renewal. Often I have seen a friend open his/her heart a tiny bit and experience, for the very first time, an emotional connection with God. This is why the charismatic renewal boasts of helping people have a personal relationship with God, because so many people are feeling that relationship for the very first time and such an experience transforms a person's spiritual life, from an intellectual faith to a living faith. For the stoics I know, this healing has always been accompanied by a flood of tears. I'm no expert, but experientially I know that the shedding of tears greatly enhances the healing that I experience. And it's a beautiful thing, since we are washed clean by water in Baptism.</div>
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But what does this have to do with tears of compunction? I believe this flood of tears is a precursor to the true tears of compunction. Note that compunction is the healthy feeling of guilt that comes from the Holy Spirit. It might better be understood as sorrow for one's sins and the collective sins of the world. The Blessed Virgin Mary, who we believe never committed any sins, has the greatest sorrow for sin. And so we see that as a person grows in holiness his/her compunction only increases. But for us beginners, it makes sense to me that the Lord would preferentially give this grace of supernatural sorrow to those who have difficulty processing emotions in their natural life.</div>
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This compunction is very different from the anxious and neurotic guilt that we often feel, which comes from pride. Because so many of us suffer from neurotic guilt, which is actually sinful, we are sometimes encouraged to refuse to feel guilty about previous sins once they have been confessed. It's true we should realize that God has completely forgiven them and we will no longer be charged with them on judgement day. God is so merciful! But unless we have the grace of perfect contrition for our sins, we're still marked with the stain of sin and will need to be cleansed of this stain through temporal punishment*. Back in the Baltimore Catechism days, penitents confessing venial sins were encouraged to call to mind some previous (and already confessed!) mortal sins in order to stir up greater contrition for the cleansing of the remaining stain of sin.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://orthocath.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/desert_fathers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://orthocath.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/desert_fathers.jpg" width="314" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">St. Anthony the Great and St. Paul of Thebes<br />of the Desert Fathers</td></tr>
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Compunction also strengthens our faith. In the book The Noonday Devil, written on the topic of acedia which is spiritual boredom or despair, there is a section on the Desert Fathers. The book describes one particular incidence in which a young hermit asked his spiritual director what to do about his horrible spiritual desolation. He just wanted to give up and go back to the world. His spiritual director's advice was to "go back to your cell and weep for your sins". Shedding tears of compunction is an act of hope, the antidote to acedia, and an act of praise of God's mercy. It's a paradoxical experience of joy-filled sorrow. In fact, according to St. John Chrisostom: "These tears do not bring sorrow; they bring more joy than all the laughter of the world can gain for you." It is a sweet sort of suffering. This ability to go to my room and weep for my sins is certainly a gift that only God can give. Without a special grace, I will simply beat myself up about previous sins and fuel my low self-esteem which, ironically, is a type of pride.</div>
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In conclusion, we all need this gift of tears and should ask for it. Compunction will heal our hardness of heart, stir up in us true contrition and facilitate our complete union with God. In Don Ruotolo's book Come, O Holy Spirit! he shares the following prayer 'to obtain the gift of tears' which was supposedly printed in a Missal:</div>
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Omnipotent and gentle God who, to slake the thirst of thy people, didst make a fountain of living water gush forth from the rock, draw from our hard hearts tears of compunction, that we might weep for our sins and, by thy mercy, merit to gain their forgiveness. </blockquote>
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Kindly pour into our hearts, Lord God, the grace of the Holy Spirit which, with cries and tears, will blot out the stain of our sins and, by thy generosity, obtain for us their long sot pardon. Through Christ our Lord.</blockquote>
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*Some people will be uncomfortable with my use of the word punishment. Why would we be punished for a sin that has been forgiven?? Ok, perhaps a better word is purification or purgation. The sin has been forgiven but whatever defect that allowed the sin to happen in the first place is still present unless I have perfect contrition. I need to be freed from that defect in order to be perfect like my Heavenly Father is perfect. My mother always said "If you were really sorry, you wouldn't do it anymore!" She was both right and wrong about that. She was right because, if I truly understood the wrong that I was doing (i.e. perfect contrition) and, therefore, was truly sorry for doing it, then I would not do that thing anymore. However, my mother was wrong in the sense that we are fallen human beings with imperfect contrition and therefore I never truly see the evil and fully turn from it until the day that the Lord gives me perfect contrition. And, hopefully, that will be the moment that the Lord takes me from this life!</div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-78696342451450397892015-10-10T17:17:00.000-07:002015-10-10T17:17:14.090-07:00Healing of families.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-4R7WAA2qY">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-4R7WAA2qY</a></div>
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A couple of weeks ago I attended a one day retreat with some friends. This was led by Fr. Philip Scott who founded the Family of Jesus community. Above is a link to a talk by Fr. Philip that covers some of the material he mentioned that day. It was extremely helpful to me and, since I took lots of notes, I have included my summary here. Of course this is just a sketch of what he actually said, but retreat DVDs are available <a href="https://shop.womenofgrace.com/product/946/dvds">HERE</a>.</div>
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Father Philip's retreat focused on father/mother wounds from growing up under less than ideal family circumstances. Since my father was totally absent growing up, Father Philip and many other spiritual leaders and psychologists would say that certain developmental issues were virtually inevitable. Unfortunately, a mother cannot impart a father's blessing and a father cannot impart a mother's blessing. The complete lack of a father/mother's blessing also weakens the blessing of the remaining parent who is now almost inevitably emotionally wounded and physically/mentally taxed by single parenthood. Also, Fr. Philip says there is something special about the biological connection between father/mother and child. Other male and female role models can certainly have a tremendously positive impact on a child's development, but cannot completely protect the child from suffering the lack of the biological father/mother's blessing. This is not so hard for me to believe, considering that in so many cases, even the most loving and understanding adoptive parents can't relieve their children of the desire to be known and loved by their biological parents.</div>
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The mother's blessing has the greatest impact on our social interactions, i.e. nurturing. The father's blessing is most important for stability, courage, self confidence (i.e. protecting and providing).</div>
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The father/mother wound comes from an absence of the father/mother's blessing in the child's life. With the blessing, the heart of the child knows that it is loved. Without the blessing, the child is faced with two primary challenges:</div>
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1.) The one who has not received the blessing feels that he has to be strong.</div>
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This often manifests in stoicism, a coldness and inability/fear of showing emotions externally, suppression of emotions, independence and insistence that I can take care of everything on my own and don't need help from anybody else. The problem is that we are weak. Life gives us plenty of opportunities to discover that we are not actually in control of external situations or even in control of our own feelings. The person who has not received the blessing often gets angry and/or discouraged easily and feels intense shame when things go wrong. "When they sin, the world falls apart. They may confess, but continue to feel guilty."</div>
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2.) The one who has not received the blessing does not have a clear sense of his own identity.</div>
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The person who has not received the blessing creates his own identity. He has to invent who he is because he does not know who he is. This can manifest itself in eccentricity, rebelliousness, lack of direction or motivation, depression and feeling that life has no meaning, a lack of understanding of one's mission and purpose in life.</div>
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One who has not received the blessing struggles intensely with loneliness. He compares himself with others, feels frustrated, powerless and lacks peace. He has a lot of noise inside his head, negative self-talk.</div>
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According to Fr. Philip, there are 5 necessary components of the father/mother blessing.</div>
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1.) Touch</div>
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This is especially important for children because they don't understand concepts. Children touch everything, put everything they can into their mouths!, and need to feel things to know that they are real. Touch that conveys love is necessary for the child to feel loved. A child that does not receive this aspect of the blessing continues to need that love as he/she transitions into adolescence and adulthood and usually seeks it in the wrong places, through sexual experiences.</div>
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2.) Words</div>
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Love also needs to be expressed in words. Time and again I would hear from the men in prison something along the lines of: "I don't care if my father is still an alcoholic and making all the wrong decisions. I just wish that at least once in his life he would tell me that he loves me." Words have power and the blessing builds up the child. Words spoken in anger kill love. A person who has not received this component of the blessing, or has experienced the father/mother's curse, is often hypersensitive. Some families don't share their feelings at all. The parents' inability to express feelings in a healthy way is transmitted to the children who feel that they are not free to express feelings. There are often a lot of secrets in families that do not communicate openly.</div>
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3.) Time</div>
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Parents need to show their love by spending time with children. Not only should the parents be around, but time should be spent entering into the child's world and communicating at the child's level. It is important to make the effort to really know the child, that he may feel understood. Again, "in a healthy family you are allowed to have feelings and to share them".</div>
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4.) If my mom and dad really knew me, they could help me discover my calling.</div>
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An important way in which the father/mother blesses the child is to help him discover his unique identity as a child of God and the path to which the Lord is calling him. Without this the child has a poor sense of identity and feels he is facing life alone.</div>
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5.) Discipline</div>
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The father/mother loves the child even when disciplining him when these occasions of stress are treated as teaching moments. The parents again enter the child's world to understand why he is behaving in such a way and to help the child feel loved, accepted, and understood.</div>
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Men who have not received the blessing typically try to impress (e.g. blaring radios from jacked up cars with monster truck tires). Women who have not received the blessing tend to dress immodestly in order to attract attention.</div>
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With God there is a way out!</div>
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It is necessary to realize we are weak. God will send us plenty of opportunities to acknowledge this. In order to avoid despair upon realizing that we are weak, we must call upon God to be our strength. We must leave every problem in His hands to resolve as He sees fit. (This is the basis of the 12 step programs.)</div>
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It is necessary to feel our feelings! And therefore it is necessary to go back and feel the feelings that we did not allow ourselves to feel before (suppressed emotions). This time we go back knowing that Jesus is there with us. As we progress along this path of healing, God will begin to help us see the reality of our situation, so that we can distinguish our true selves from the selves we have invented. We will be adopted into the perfect family of the Holy Trinity where we know without a doubt that we are completely understood and completely loved.</div>
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Note that feelings in and of themselves are a natural human response to the circumstances of our lives and therefore are not sinful. So we should not try to ignore and control our emotions but rather allow ourselves to recognize them. It is the way that we behave in response to our emotions that can be sinful. Attempting to smother our feelings often can make them grow stronger. For example, trying to smother anger can increase it and cause our angry outburst to become even more violent. Instead, we must immediately acknowledge the feeling of anger and that we are blinded by it (strong emotions impair our ability to reason), call upon God to handle the situation, and enter into prayer. Fr. Philip recommended praying the name of Jesus on the rosary beads.</div>
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I plan to watch the DVDs and look forward to learning more about the healing process. We got a detailed overview of the problem but kind of ran out of time toward the end of the day. I got the message that we need to accept the fact that we are weak and depend on God instead. And we need healing of memories and to stop smothering our emotions. That's enough to work on for now!</div>
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The day after the retreat I was at Mass and listening to our priest's homily. He said that in our society we are taught jealousy from a very young age and that our materialistic society with all of our advertising trains us to covet our neighbors' goods. If our neighbors have a nicer house or car or phone, we wish we had something better. We feel driven to succeed and have the highest paying job so that we can have the most and the best goods, everything that money can provide. We are also taught to be ambitious. This is a less obvious danger because it is a good thing to be motivated. However, we're taught that we need to accomplish more and more things, bigger and better than ever before. In school we should be getting the highest grades, in our workplace we should be making the highest salary. We are very accomplishment driven. At high school and college graduations, speakers exhort us to go out and save the world and make our mark on history. Many of us are now SO exhausted by trying to move mountains. I feel this also happens in the spiritual life. At the very beginning of the spiritual life, when turning away from the world, exhortations to bigger and better acts of charity can be useful to get us off of our butts and into ministry opportunities. However, eventually these same exhortations can make a person spiritually ambitious in a way that is exhausting. God needs to teach us that even in our spiritual lives we are weak. Like Sister Nirmala said and Fr. Philip was explaining, the proper spiritual perspective is that of littleness and spiritual childhood, total weakness and dependence on God, recognizing that He is the one who saves the world and anything that I can do is the tiniest drop in the bucket.</div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7869186140654078000.post-55925465867216075642015-09-18T17:55:00.000-07:002015-09-18T17:55:04.460-07:007QT: churches, shrines and basilicas galore!<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<i>In which I finally meet my dear Brother Andre Bessette.</i></div>
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I've been traveling to Boulder a lot for work and my favorite place to attend Mass is at University of Colorado, but their Mass is in the evening and usually our work day doesn't end in time to make it for Mass. Instead, I usually go to Sacred Heart Church in the down town area. The church itself has a really modern feel but once there was an awesome priest who may have been hispanic (anyway he had an accent) who gave a great homily about seeing paradise and knowing that it's real and asking the Holy Spirit to put that conviction in our hearts.<br />
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In the spring we had a science meeting in Boston and a friend recommended St. Clement Eucharistic Shrine with perpetual adoration!! It's rare that I get to go to Eucharistic adoration on these work trips. My first day there my flight got in way too early so I took a walk to the shrine. I wrote down walking directions but still managed to miss it and get super stressed out. I almost gave up but on the way back saw the right street and gave it another shot. As I stepped into the church, I felt so exhausted that I thought I would just take a peak and return the next day. But the atmosphere was so peaceful that I stayed a while to recharge and happened to catch the recitation of the rosary by the seminarians of the Oblates of the Virgin Mary. The Oblates purchased St. Clement in 1976 and house their seminary here. I was blessed a couple of mornings to attend the chanting of the Divine Office followed by Mass and adoration.</div>
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On my last day in Boston I decided to visit a different church, called The Mission, with its own beautiful and traditional style, at least architecturally speaking. The inside too is quite beautiful although I was confused when I walked in about fifteen minutes before Mass to find the interior empty save for a man buffing the floors. Coincidentally another newbie walked in behind me and the two of us asked the man about Mass. He sent us down the hall to a chapel where the Redemptorists would celebrate their daily Mass. It seems like a lot of the Boston churches are occupied by Religious Orders! Unfortunately, the Redemtorists say their Divine Office privately in the chapel and let the lay people in for Mass so we had to wait on benches just outside of the chapel. A group of regulars, local older ladies, were discussing how much they love the new pope who is <i>so</i> different from the previous popes and finally setting priorities straight. "Personally, I think we should focus on social justice." So I wasn't surprised when the style of the Mass was rather creative. After Mass the very sweet man next to me asked if I'm a nun, because of my LMC crucifix. All of this made me think, perhaps uncharitably, that this parish probably distributes free copies of the National Catholic Reporter (or as Fr Z calls it, the National Schismatic Reporter).<br />
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This summer I attended a science conference in Montreal meaning that I could finally visit St. Joseph's Oratory and the tomb of one of my most favorite Saints, Brother Andre Bessette. I arrived early again so I went straight to the oratory. Unfortunately, it was a gorgeous summer day. I say it was unfortunately because the grounds, which were objectively very beautiful, were covered in indiscreet college couples, screaming and running kids and strange other sights like a man smoking a cigar on the oratory steps. As I went toward the area near Brother Andre's tomb I was caught up in a current of moving people as though it were a busy shopping mall. When Brother Andre was alive he was known as a miracle healer (although he attributed every healing to the intercession of St. Joseph) and the walls of this hall are lined with the crutches that were left by those claiming to have been healed.<br />
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Fortunately, Brother Andre's tiny living quarters and shrine behind the oratory was less crowded. The upstairs room was boiling hot and appeared to be without running water. It was also fairly small but not as cramped as I would have expected. When I returned to the parking lot some guys were blaring profane music and I knelt on the sidewalk to pray a Memorare in reparation. Then I went back inside to see the upstairs of the oratory and eventually made my way to a hidden area with a little bench in front of a reliquary containing Brother Andre's heart, which had been removed from his body. I remembered thinking how gruesome and strange it was for them to remove it, especially with the heart and the body now being housed in different parts of the same building. But at this point I felt discouraged and overheated and had a nasty headache and I was extremely grateful to be able to sit in peace and quiet in front of Brother Andre's heart. Eventually a family with children came clanking through, talking in loud voices, but fortunately I had been energized enough to work my way onward to the hotel.</div>
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The Cathedral-Basilica of Mary Queen of the World (and St. James the Greater) was just across the street from our hotel and less plagued by tourists and poorly behaved students. The Mass was in French but they held Eucharistic adoration afterward starting with the chanting of O Salutaris in Latin. After understanding almost nothing of the Mass I was so excited to be able to sing the familiar Latin hymn with everyone else. It was a moving experience of unity to sing a song in the language of the Church when I couldn't understand the local vernacular, and it gave me a new respect for the Traditional Latin Mass. This Cathedral was the location of Brother Andre's funeral. It contains many beautiful paintings including a depiction of the North American martyrs, also among my favorite Saints!<br />
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One day we paid to visit the Basilique Notre Dame de Montreal. I thought it was a very weird situation. We didn't just pay <i>a</i> visit. We paid <i>to </i>visit. The website indicated that if I wanted to come to the church to pray I could do so for free but if I just wanted to look then I needed to pay. I wasn't sure just how much praying was required for free admission so I decided to pay like everybody else. At least maybe it supports the community or art restoration. It's a beautiful church, although not in the style I prefer. It does have an amazingly awesome pipe organ!</div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7869186140654078000" name="qt3"></a><strong>--- 7 ---</strong></span></div>
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Sister Nirmala, who succeeded Mother Teresa as the superior general of the Missionaries of Charity, died on June 22. The Sisters at Gift of Hope needed a ride to a memorial Mass at the contemplative house in DC so I was put to work. It was pouring rain to the point that I couldn't see the road so the Sisters decided to pray one of Mother Teresa's quick novenas (i.e. 9 Memorares plus 1 in Thanksgiving). As if on cue the rain stopped and the Sisters managed to lead me to the right place, even without GPS! We were given handouts with the music for the Mass, which are never songs I've ever heard, and the following quote of Sister Nirmala: "Remember who we are. The little ones. The poor ones. Don't despise littleness. Accept it, surrender. These are the channels through which God comes to us."<br />
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Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and let the perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace.<br />
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For more Quick Takes, visit <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/">This Ain't the Lyceum!</a></div>
Sarah Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10042768201511024863noreply@blogger.com0