An unblemished sacrifice.

October 19, 2011

Mother Teresa would say that we must be empty of self so we can be filled with God. One night at prison ministry, we were reading a scripture passage from 1 John Chapter 1 that says that anyone who sins is not of God. (We tend to use the Good News Translation, which may not be the most literal but it is the most comprehensible for the people we're working with.)

Now the message that we have heard from his Son and announce is this: God is light, and there is no darkness at all in him. If, then, we say that we have fellowship with him, yet at the same time live in the darkness, we are lying both in our words and in our actions. But if we live in the light—just as he is in the light—then we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from every sin.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and there is no truth in us. But if we confess our sins to God, he will keep his promise and do what is right: he will forgive us our sins and purify us from all our wrongdoing. If we say that we have not sinned, we make a liar out of God, and his word is not in us.

We discussed the obvious fact that in our human weakness we do still sin, even though our Baptism cleansed us of Original Sin and any previous sins we have committed. So we have the Sacrament of Penance and Reconcilliation to free us from our subsequent sins and reuinite us fully with the Mystical Body of Christ--which is probably part of why we instantly feel so great after being absolved of mortal sins, because we're plunged back into the Body of Christ.

To be full of grace means to be filled with the Holy Spirit which means that Christ is in me and I am in Christ. Just like Original Sin resulted in shame and a lack of trust that inhibited openness and perfect communion between men and women (and between humans and God), venial sin weakens our communion with the Mystical Body of Christ and mortal sin completely ostracizes us from the Communion of Saints.

This reminded me of a dream I had about confession--I woke up and wrote that the Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation "cures our imperfect sacrifice with Christ's perfect sacrifice". At the time, I thought that was half-sleep nonsense. Since then I've come to understand that the Passion of Christ took away the sins of the world and we are granted access to that destruction of sin through the Sacraments of Baptism and Reconciliation. These Sacraments allow us to unite our sacrifices to Christ's perfect sacrifice in order to be in Him and to dwell in the Kingdom of Heaven--to be resurrected and ascend with Him after death. This is absolutely not something we can do by our own power.

In Baptism, we are Baptized into His death and spiritually undergo our own mini-death. We are meant to understand our life after Baptism as the beginning of our eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven. We will not die again, rather at the end of our earthly life we will enter into full union with God. This is why the early Christians were fearless when facing death. However, until we are completely separated from worldly attachment through our earthly death, we will gradually journey in that direction through a series of crosses by which we undergo suffering, dying and rising. Through each mini-resurrection our union with God increases. We are emptied of self and filled with God.

I remember the moment during my adult conversion when I was put to the test. I had to decide between the only way of life I knew and an unknown Life in Christ. This happened to me after my first RCIA class. Until then I had simply been learning about the faith and more or less going through the motions. I remember understanding that I had to die to my old life and, as best I can, give everything to God. I remember struggling with the decision and attempting to rationalize that I could decide later, but God demanded an answer right then and there. I fell into a sort of weepy despair--I was afraid. I was afraid that I would give up and that I wouldn't be able to finish the race, as St. Paul would say. Surely it would be better to never have known God than to love God and lose Him. But God insisted that He would help me if I let Him, and that there is no reason to be afraid. I was still afraid but hopeful--now I wanted to accept this offer and to give myself to Him. But as has happened so many times since, I felt too weak to respond. I told God that I want to do this but I can't, I need help. "Lord, I have the desire but you have to give me the strength to do this." I pleaded and began to feel stronger. I made the commitment and all of my fear and anxiety melted away.

We really do have to emulate Christ in giving ourselves over completely to the Will of God. We do have to, as much as possible, give ourselves as sacrificial victims to God--united with Christ's perfect sacrifice. We renew this sacrifice during every Mass and should approach the Eucharist with this in mind. Thinking back to the feelings of trepidation leading up to my initial sacrifice to God (although I had not yet been Baptised) I am reminded of the seriousness of the sacrifice. When I walk up to receive communion am I really ready to give everything to God and to comply with whatever he asks, always trusting that he is asking out of love? Am I willing to sacrifice my job and my financial security? Am I willing to sacrifice my health? Am I willing to suffer the loss of a loved one? Am I willing to be humiliated through no fault of my own? To be unjustly persecuted? Would I be ready to give my life? This is what I'm telling Him when I receive His body and blood--that I am ready to take up my cross and follow Him even unto death.

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It's important to realize what 'taking up my cross' means. In general it means that I will suffer nothing more than what I would have suffered anyway but with a spirit of abandonment and trust in God. It amounts to accepting each difficulty, and sometimes even tragedy, knowing that in my suffering I can either be for God or I can be against Him. Suffering with God is always the easier way. However, in our weakness and pain we tend to say, "I know better than God. He has made a mistake." Meaningless suffering is transformed into an priceless sacrifice when we willingly accept it and offer it back to God in faith, believing that somehow God's way is best for everyone.

In Three Ages of the Interior Life, Fr. Garrigou-LaGrange suggests that we should always approach Holy Communion with our death in mind. With infinite trust, I should praise the Father for His goodness in determining the perfect manner and moment for my death, although at the time I may not understand it. I should accept my death in advance (right now) and offer it to the Father, in union with that of His Son, in atonement for my sins and those of the whole world. I should offer my death in thanksgiving for His Mercy and for all the blessings and graces I have received thus far and will in the future. And I should offer my death in petition that we all will be in a state of grace at the time of death. We should welcome each mini-death along the way with the same spirit of trust, sacrifice, thanksgiving, and hopeful petition. We may not all be called to persecution and martyrdom, but we are all called to take up our crosses and follow Him even unto death.

I THIRST

Like the deer that yearns for running streams,
so my soul is yearning for you, my God.
My soul is thirsting for God, the God of my life;
when can I enter and see the face of God? [Psalm 42]

The Missionaries of Charity Sisters and Brothers (members of the Order founded by Blessed Teresa of Calcutta) describe themselves as 'walking contemplatives'. As part of the formation period for the Lay Missionaries of Charity I'm reading the book M.C. Train, which contains many letters by Fr. Sebastian Vazhakala, M.C. He explains that the Missionaries of Charity Brothers Contemplative spend several hours per day gazing upon Christ in the Eucharist and the rest of the day serving Christ in the poorest of the poor. Mother Teresa described the poorest of the poor as "Christ in his most distressing disguise". She believed that seeing Christ in the Eucharist (under the mysterious disguise of bread) would help the Brothers and Sisters of her Order to see Him more clearly in the poorest of the poor. Likewise, serving Christ in the poor would lead them to a closer union with Christ in the Eucharist. Through the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, we can come to see and adore God in all created things, especially in human beings who are created in His image and likeness.

In Three Ages of the Interior Life, Fr. Garrigou-Lagrange states: "to see God in souls is a grace that must be merited. It requires a particular clear perception which is gradually obtained by detachment from self and a more pure and strong love of God, which makes us discover those who love Him and those who are called to love Him, those from whom we can receive and those to whom we can and should give for love of Him."

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (2560) describes prayer as "the encounter of God's thirst with ours. God thirsts that we may thirst for him." Mother Teresa often spoke about Jesus' infinite thirst for souls. In some sense, the Missionaries of Charity vocation is founded on the words "I thirst" which Jesus spoke from the cross. Mother Teresa insisted that every Missionaries of Charity chapel would have these words placed next to the crucifix above the altar. The Missionaries of Charity refer to themselves as Victims of Love, as a reminder that they are willing to make any sacrifice necessary to bring souls (including their own) to closer union with God, thereby striving to quench Jesus' infinite thirst for souls. "These desires to satiate the longing of our Lord for the souls of the poor--for pure victims of His love, goes on increasing with every Mass and Holy Communion."

The Lord Jesus thirsts not only for us to bring other souls to Him, but he thirsts for each person individually. Mother Teresa heard his words "I thirst" as an expression of his yearning for union with each one of us, a yearning symbolized in the Song of Songs. Pope Benedict XVI explained in the encyclical Deus Caritas Est that God's love for his people is both passionate and selfless. "God is the absolute and ultimate source of all being; but this universal principle of creation—the Logos, primordial reason—is at the same time a lover with all the passion of a true love. Eros is thus supremely ennobled, yet at the same time it is so purified as to become one with agape." He is the Bridegroom and a lover to each and every one of us.

"Whoever has grown from infancy to manhood and attained to spiritual maturity possesses the mastery over his passions and the purity that makes it possible for him to receive the glory of the Spirit. He is that perfect dove upon whom the eyes of the bridegroom rest when he says: One alone is my dove, my perfect one."
--St. Gregory of Nyssa--

Sweet Lord, Thy thirst for souls,

I satiate with my burning love all for Thee, 

my chalice will be filled with love,

sacrifices made all for Thee.

Ever more I will quench Thy thirst, Lord,

ever more I will quench Thy thirst, Lord, for souls,

in union with Mary our Queen,

I will quench Thy thirst.

My body pines for You.

O God, you are my God, for you I long;
for you my soul is thirsting.
My body pines for you
like a dry, weary land without water.
So I gaze on you in the sanctuary
to see your strength and your glory. [Psalm 63]

We are often told to listen to God and it makes sense to me that my time in prayer shouldn't be entirely taken up with my spoken prayers (either vocally or in my mind) but that I should spend some time in silence waiting for God to speak, if He so chooses.

It seems that God doesn't speak to each person in the same way, and rarely ever in an audible voice. God can speak through the circumstances of our daily lives (e.g. God speaks to one of my friends through license plates), through the words of others around us (even by overhearing a stranger's conversation), or through intuition (like the person who would have died in a plane crash but never boarded because she just didn't feel right about it). These types of messages from God typically come outside of our regularly scheduled prayer time, highlighting the importance of maintaining interior silence and recollection throughout the day. With experience, I can learn how God speaks to me.

There are ways in which we can facilitate the conversation with God and hear his voice more clearly. One commonly used method is called Lectio Divina and involves reading the Bible (the Word of God), meditating on it, praising God, and opening oneself up to contemplation (in which God speaks directly to the soul in a mystical way). Many Religious Orders practice this method daily.

But what of my time sitting in silence and actively listening? Why can't I just hear God's voice during the rest of the day, maybe in the ways mentioned above? Aren't I wasting me time sitting here listening if God apparently doesn't have anything to say right now? Why all of the emphasis on prayerful silence?

One thing I've noticed is that my time actively listening to God bears fruit throughout the rest of the day. So even if I feel like God is not very talkative during my prayer time, I see a direct correlation between my faithfulness in 'listening' and my perception of His presence throughout the rest of the day. Because I am giving God my undivided attention and listening right now, I may hear him speaking later. However, how do I get the most out of this period of listening? Is it a sort of meditation during which I try to keep my mind clear of any thoughts? Am I still praying? I think we can understand better what it means to listen to God when we expand our definition of what it means to pray, beyond the level of human conversation.

Ralph Martin has said that prayer is "paying attention to God". This is a good definition (and explains how one might pray always) but does not describe the attitude I should have toward God. A few months ago one of my housemates told me "prayer is nothing other than a desire for union with God." He leads a youth group at our church and tells the young people that, in order to develop a deeper prayer life, they should sit quietly for some time each day and desire God. "You desire all sorts of things like pizza, video games, money, and so on. Just sit down for a while and try to desire God." It will become easier and, meditating on God's love for us, we can begin to desire God above other things.

There are several different types of prayer including (but probably not limited to) Liturgical prayer (in community), vocal prayer (e.g. the Our Father), mental prayer (meditation, e.g. the rosary), and contemplative prayer. Infused contemplation (which includes mystical prayer) is considered the highest form of prayer because we are acting as docile recipients of God's grace. This doesn't have to be an extraordinary experience like spiritual ecstasy. Some Saints have described the experience of infused contemplation (which is true union with God) as being like a fish immersed in water. I am the fish and God is the water. Many of the early Christians considered infused prayer to be the "pearl of great price" mentioned in the Gospel.

One can practice meditation and, for example, become less prone to distractions. And one can decide that today I will for the first time pray the Divine Office (a form of Liturgical prayer). But one cannot wake up in the morning and decide that "I'm going to try infused contemplative prayer and practice it for the next several weeks." God is the one who initiates every instance of infused contemplation.

However, some refer to 'acquired contemplation' as a form of prayer that can prepare one to have the appropriate disposition for infused contemplation. It seems to me that this acquired contemplation is nothing other than 'listening to God'. I have seen acquired contemplation referred to as casting a loving gaze toward God. I think we can all stir up an image in our minds of the loving mother gazing at her sleeping infant, or the grown man watching over his dying mother. Seeing a loved one in a vulnerable state makes our feelings of love grow stronger. Similarly we can direct our spiritual eyes in a loving gaze toward the infant Jesus or the crucified Christ.

Lovingly gazing upon Christ on the cross with the eyes of my body (knowing that this plaster crucifix is obviously not God) can help me to direct more easily the eyes of my soul to the living God. In the Eastern Churches, it is believed that an authentic religious icon (produced according to a particular method involving periods of prayer) serves as a portal to Heaven. For example, by looking at an icon of the Blessed Virgin Mary, my gaze is directed through the portal of the icon and I truly look at Holy Mary. (That's my beginners understanding of this mystery of faith.) As an aid to prayer, images and icons are an indispensable tool for acquired contemplation.

Spending time with God, paying attention to Him, loving Him, and desiring Him is how we drink from the ever flowing stream of living water. We become more docile to the Holy Spirit who wells up within us and sets our hearts aflame. It can be extremely difficult to force oneself to sit in silence with God. In fact, it sometimes seems impossible. But the reward at the other side of the desert is the gift of infused contemplation, the pearl of great price.

"Taste God's love. Give God permission. Stop fighting him. Desire God and he will come. Desire more and you will receive more. Every single second God loves you infinitely. This is reality. Everything else is a lie."

--Msgr. John Esseff, Building a Kingdom of Love

7QT: A Birthday trip to Wisconsin.

In which I visit mom in Wisconsin, we celebrate my birthday with grainless mug cake, and I start mom on Dr. Ellie's mouth care regimen.

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Mom showed up at the tiny La Crosse airport with a festive Christmas pin that she had forgotten to take off of her coat. That was fitting since this was our post-Christmas Christmas celebration. I brought my white sweater with black polka dots and, coincidentally, mom has a white jacket with black polka dots! So we decided to be twins for church on Sunday. Later in the week, we made grain free, microwave mug cake in celebration of my birthday and took a trip to Mall of America to get the Minnesota experience. The most remarkable part of my Mall of America trip was seeing ashtrays on sale for the first time in over ten years. And there was such a huge selection!

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I brought a bunch of little bottles of liquids with me since I have been using Dr. Ellie's Complete Mouth Care System for the past two months. It uses a combination of three mouthwashes and regular Crest toothpaste. After my other experiments with oil pulling and using baking soda toothpaste without fluoride my teeth had become extremely sensitive, one of them chipped, and they started to look translucent making me think my enamel was probably pretty thin. Not trusting modern dentistry to solve my problem without additional pain and major medical bills I turned to my trusted friend Dr. Internet. This turned up Dr. Ellie and another tooth self-help resource called Cure Tooth Decay. The latter is based on the Weston A. Price Foundation diet that is suppose to cure just about anything. So far my family has been really good about driving me to yuppie grocery stores for food that I'm allowed to eat on my 'tooth diet'. According to this diet, grains should only be eaten after being sprouted in a particular way and all nuts need to be soaked before eating. And of course, no more eating sugar, among other things. Since my visit, mom decided to give Dr. Ellie a try too!

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Because of my grainless and sugarless diet, mom and I had to get creative in celebrating my birthday. We ended up making this grainless mug cake that 'bakes' in the microwave for two minutes. The primary ingredients are coconut flour, eggs, and maple syrup. As far as I can tell, anything Paleo fits the WAPF diet. It turned out better than I expected but one mug would have been enough for both of us.

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We went to Sunday Mass at the Cathedral of St. Joseph the Workman which has some strange modern kaleidoscopic windows that reminded me of the Richter window at the Cologne Cathedral in Germany. There is also a gorgeous, 14-ton pipe organ that led me to this interesting website for Pipedreams which is apparently a show on public radio.

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Later in the week we visited the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe which I had not realized was built while Cardinal Burke was Archbishop of La Crosse. We went to a Mass celebrated by a Franciscan with an extremely deep voice and an accent. I could only understand part of what he was saying and thanked God that I was able to catch the part about communion always being received while kneeling at the altar rail. On the way back down we stopped at a memorial for the unborn and a prayer chapel with a huge tower of prayer candles. The setting is lovely, perched on a hill where we saw a group of deer relaxing in the brush.

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We had quite a prayerful week. Mom had agreed to lead the Wednesday night prayer service at her church. We were the only ones to come that night but we decided to stay because "wherever two or more are gathered…" On my last day in La Crosse we went to Mary of the Angels chapel at the convent of the Franciscan Sisters of Perpetual Adoration. This awesome picture is from a Wisconsin photography blog. We watched a little video and then went on a tour led by Sister Fran who must have been a school teacher because she quizzed us on the various icons throughout the chapel. Mom and I made it out without suffering too much from public school PTSD. We finished just in time to make a quick trip to Grandad Bluff and walked out toward the observation deck but it was windy and FREEZING! So we gazed at the nice view for about 35 seconds and then turned back.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hRcixUH1PE

Because of the ridiculous amounts of snow that came down yesterday, our Stations of the Cross were cancelled today. So I'm taking the opportunity to go through the Liam Neeson narration of St. Alphonsus Liguori's version. I'm not sure if this intro comes from St. Alphonsus, but it's pretty intense. Happy Lent everybody!

For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain't the Lyceum!

7QT: All that jazz!

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and all that jazz!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flUx-Y7BsiY

"I'm dreaming of a warm and rainy Christmas! Unlike the ones I used to know." Back home the weather was unseasonably warm at Christmas, but we did have a White Thanksgiving. Enlisting the cousins, we were able to do tons of cleaning. I've never seen so much cat hair in one place and we ran out of porcelain cleaner, something I didn't expect to occur within our lifetimes (gramma bequeathed to us a panoply of household cleaners). We Skyped with mom who is away "on assignment" and opened the gifts she sent which, for Andy, included 60 pounds of ferret litter. So even if he decides to adopt 12 more ferrets, he shouldn't have to buy any more litter. ;-) I also got a free hair cut! My thirteen year old cousin who is quite a fashionista studied on Youtube and gave me a better hair cut than the last one I paid for.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXlxWq1Tz1I

My 2014 New Year's Resolutions consisted of the Heroic Minute and meal planning. The latter was a  complete failure. The former was pretty successful as far as New Year's Resolutions go. I'd say I succeeded on roughly one out of three days. Unfortunately, those 240ish unsuccessful days leaned pretty heavily toward the end of the year. While there are plenty of things I should do, like exercise more, I haven't formulated any concrete resolutions for 2015. However, I am pretty excited to try these inverted rows using a bed sheet pinched in a door. I can envision it now--a loud crash and my bruised body lying on the floor holding a knotted sheet and squashed under the bedroom door. Like I said, I can't wait to try it.

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One of the highlights of 2014 that I haven't mentioned in a previous post was my brother's visit in October. I don't know that it was a highlight of his year but hey, we all have different standards. We went to the Smithsonian National Museum of American History on a mission to find Cher Ami (Dear Friend), a war pigeon who lost his leg in service to our country. He received a medal for heroic service and his taxidermied body is on display in the museum. We also saw a doggie veteran that I think was named Stubby or Stumpy or something like that.

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The pics above were taken on our trip to the Maryland Science Center. I got to pose next to the rocket! We also got to see FrC at one of his favorite diners. After he sat drinking some ice water and chatting for about twenty minutes he rushed off to attend to some other poor soul. But first we heard a story about his hitchhiking experiences "back when that was safe". Last time my brother visited, FrC told a story about  his near death experience when a young Italian gang member held a gun to his head during a skirmish. The guy backed down when young FrC said "Jesus wouldn't want you to do this." He ended the story with: "You know how they say that your whole life flashes before your eyes? That's true!"

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Merry Christmas: Part 2 was a visit to see mom in Wisconsin in mid-January. I'll quick-take on that next time, hopefully next Friday, because a whole lot happened in those six days. Hint: much impromptu pilgrimaging occurred. So stay tuned!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_yf-uvc5D0

A friend sent me this Youtube audio from a talk called True Worship. It starts with an explanation of the Catholic understanding of the Holy Eucharist (aka Communion), which is the absolute most important belief of Catholicism. But the best part is a story about a 10 year old Chinese girl who puts her life on the line to protect Jesus from the Communists. Please please please listen, it's well worth the 18 minutes.

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March for Life 2015 took place on Thursday and unfortunately I missed it, although my seminarian friend says it was attended by an estimated 600,000 other people. Fortunately, this year I'll actively participate for the first time in 40 Days for Life, which is an ecumenical prayer campaign. This means I'll be spending some Saturdays praying my rosary outside of one of the local abortion clinics. Sounds easy enough although I've heard of items getting thrown at prayer groups by people in passing cars--once a 9V battery! I'm pretty sure nothing like that has happened to the group I'll be with.

But it all reminds me of chaperoning the Steubenville Youth Conference last summer. During some off time, one of the other chaperones took me on an unofficial tour. Eventually we made it to the Tomb of the Unborn Child. On the tomb were plaques with first names and dates. There weren't many, maybe about seven, but there was a story behind the names. Some of the Franciscan University undergraduates routinely pray outside of the local abortion clinic. I was told that on one occasion they found two pairs of tiny arms and tiny legs (among other body parts) in the dumpster outside the clinic. At any rate, whoever found the remains brought them to the University for burial. A ceremony was held on Jan 22, 1987, initiating the Tomb of the Unborn Child. Based on the number of appendages found, they gave names to the two children (Francis and Clare) who would never be born. These names and the date, along with five added since, are inscribed on the memorial plaque.

No one likes this type of gruesome story. But sometimes it's true. And there is a reason we're uncomfortable with it.

For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain't the Lyceum!

7QT: The Bus-Busiest Time of the Year!

Come Lord Jesus!! Christmas is almost here! Yes, I'm cheating and posting Quick Takes on a Saturday.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNz6eHfsESQ

I haven't been getting in much Quick-Taking because I've been either in Vermont or on airplanes for the last several Fridays. In fact, I was on an airplane most of yesterday returning from an annual science conference in California. I thought I would share Skeletor's Best Insults from one of Jenn's previous 7QTs, including his opinion of scientists.

"Why can't I join your gang???" "Cause you were a wimp scientist and you could be a wimp villain!" Is he calling all scientists wimps?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKe0IbdI87g

As Advent preparations reach fever pitch I thought I'd share David Crowder Band's version of O Come, O Come, Emmanuel.

The Lord himself will give you this sign: the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall name him Emmanuel.

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As we approach Christmas Day and the season of Christmas that follows (remember it's still Advent!) I would like to remind certain people that the X in Xmas comes from the Chi in Christos, the Greek origin of the word Christ. I don't disagree with the observation that most people have taken the Christ out of Christmas. But complaining about Xmas instead of Christmas is silly. Let it be a teaching moment. "Do you know why it's abbreviated Xmas?"

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Ideally one would spend extra time in prayer and silent reflection during the season of Advent. It's also a season of penitential observance in preparation for the second coming. (This year I only had the heart to stop drinking soda.) But for me, the Advent season is always the Bus-Busiest Time of the Year! The chaos has one thing going for it. I often find myself thinking Come Lord Jesus!! You know Jesus, you could come today if that works. The sea of blood and all that sounds a little scary but I'm pretty excited about the Wedding Feast of the Lamb.

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On December 17th, we start to use what are known as the O Antiphons in the Liturgy, in preparation for Christmas. The December 20th antiphon is:

O Key of David, Scepter of the house of Israel, you open and no man closes; you close and no man opens. Come, and deliver him from the chains of prison who sits in darkness and in the shadow of death.

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Somewhere I Have Never Travelled

by E. E. Cummings

somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond

any experience, your eyes have their silence:

in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,

or which I cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will enclose me

though I have closed myself as fingers

you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens

(touching skillfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, I and

my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,

as when the heart of this flower imagines

the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals

the power of your intense fragility: whose texture

compels me with the color of its countries,

rendering death and forever with each breathing

(I do not know what it is about you that closes

and opens; only something in me understands

the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)

nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

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This is our first Christmas without gramma, but I'm blessed to have spent three decades of Christmases with her. They were good and bad. Certainly some were better than others. I do have a sense of peace and a conviction that the Lord delivered her from sin and death and allows her to intercede for us. Call me crazy, but I feel like I've received some special graces since her passing. Now she can obtain for us gifts of infinite value. Now she can love us perfectly. Now we have no reason for guilt. She knows that we love her and that we wish we could have loved her better. May her prayers help us to love each other better.

For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain't the Lyceum!

7QT: More impromptu pilgrimage days

In which I traipse around strange cities looking for Masses at all hours of the morning.

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Stained glass at Blessed Sacrament Church in Seattle

Last Saturday was the Feast of St. Albert the Great, Bishop and Doctor of the Church. He was declared a Doctor because he wrote a lot of stuff that affected the way a lot of people understand the faith. St. Albert was a teacher of St. Thomas Aquinas who was outshone somewhat by (and canonized after) his student. But one of the coolest things about St. Albert, in my humble opinion, is that he was a scientist. I mean a real scientist, who conducted scientific experiments.

I recently discovered the website of an old friend from college (www.danielmitsui.com) who now draws and sells amazing iconography. In fact, one of his works was commissioned by the Vatican! I encourage everyone to buy a zillion prints from him. But anyway, on the site he gives little anecdotes from the lives of the Saints depicted in his icons. And lo and behold, I found this gem:

"In the bas-de-page I illustrated an old story told of St. Albert: he spent decades inventing a mechanical head that answered questions posed to it. St. Thomas Aquinas, either annoyed or frightened by the automaton, smashed it to pieces."

So I guess I have a fellow scientist/engineer in St. Albert. To echo the words of Fabio, that's "scientist slash engineer, and not the other way around"!

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Blessed Sacrament Church in Seattle

During a business trip to Seattle this summer, I got up extra early and had an easy time finding Blessed Sacrament Church. This is a Dominican parish with Eucharistic Adoration, Morning Prayer, Mass, and the rosary each weekday morning. I wanted to take that parish with me! The Dominicans there have also resurrected the Mass in the Dominican Rite, somewhat like the Traditional Latin Mass. Chanting the Divine Office every morning definitely helped me feel like a contemplative in the modern world.

Blessed Sacrament Parish in Seattle

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St. Lucy's in Newark

My trip to Newark was a little bit more interesting. Let's just say that had it not been a Holy Day of Obligation I would not have attended a weekday Mass in Newark. My first night there I took a little walk to try to locate St. Lucy's Church. According to Google Maps it would be about a twenty minute walk. I dutifully followed my GMaps directions and soon found myself in an area that… well, let's just say that it seemed rougher than Baltimore. So I backtracked and tried another direction, thankful that I'd printed out a little map. After about ten minutes of walking the sidewalk ended. I walked a very short way along the poorly lit shoulder thinking I might be ok because it was a fairly big, four-lane road. Then some guy pulled over on the other side of the road and beckoned me over to his car. I was able to wave him off but I started thinking that maybe it was time to go back to the hotel. I have a guardian angel, but God doesn't want me to be stupid! For the record, I was dressed modestly. I like to think the guy was a Good Samaritan trying to warn me not to walk any farther.

St. Lucy's Newark

In the end I identified a less confusing route to St. Lucy's with sidewalks the whole way. Walking through the slums in the early morning light was less scary. The Church is absolutely gorgeous and worth the pilgrimage to get there. It also contains the National Shrine of St. Gerard. The statue of St. Gerard looked kind of like a vampire being stabbed to death with a wooden cross. But trusting the Magisterium and Gerard's official canonization, I stopped to pray for all of the pregnant ladies I know.

National Shrine of St. Gerard at St. Lucy's in Newark.

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St. Catherine of Siena Chapel
"Chapel on the Rock"

Recently I made a several day work trip to Colorado and somehow my hotel room was only booked for one night. Thankfully Allison lives out there and graciously hosted me for the rest of the week. We saw tons of elk, one of which was almost close enough to pet, and foxes and bunnies and deer. We also stopped at the Chapel on the Rock at the San Malo retreat center. Apparently Pope John Paul II stopped to pray there during his trip to World Youth Day in Denver in 1993. Recently the retreat center was closed due to a devastating fire and mud slides but the chapel, being literally built on a rock, survived. There is an imposing statue of Jesus on a hill and we found a lot of crosses made out of pebbles and sticks and flowers on the ground below. (For the record, these are Allison's photos.)

Sacred Heart of Jesus statue at San Malo

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St. Patrick's in San Francisco

Our annual science conference is always held in the same place in San Francisco, just down the street from St. Patrick's Church. This is a church where you will see all kinds of people. One morning I was finishing my last decade of the rosary after Mass and a young man, covered in tattoos, stopped by and asked "Are you Catholic?" Kneeling after Mass with rosary in hand, I wasn't sure how to answer that. Then he said, "I mean, are you really Catholic?" I assured him that I am and he sat down to ask some questions about the RCIA program and entering the Church. He was an addict, but clean at the time, and living on the streets. I gave him a rosary and bought him coffee after Mass on a couple of other mornings. We talked about Catholicism and he told me some of his story. He never asked for money. On the last day he hugged me and then went his way. Please pray for Daniel!

St. Patrick's in San Francisco

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Portziuncola at National Shrine of St. Francis of Assisi

One year in San Francisco I walked with a friend to the National Shrine of St. Francis of Assisi. The website for the Shrine has an extremely cool virtual tour. The shrine includes a replica of the Porziuncola, or "small portion of land", which consisted of the Chapel of Our Lady of the Angels. The original Porziuncola was given to St. Francis for his new order. This replica, tucked away in the middle of the city, provides a place of refuge for the modern day pilgrim.

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Altar window at Blessed Sacrament in Seattle

Happy Feast of Christ the King!! Advent is coming. Here is an explanation of the Holy Mass set to Revelator by Josh Garrels: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=youSVxbAhwc Marana tha!

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